There's somewhat of a debate - or rather a baiting as such - going on in the Walford Web Kindergarten and Bully Brigade at the moment, specifically about the association the fragrant whore Tanya is about to forge with Phil.
You can catch up with the bullying and baiting here, if you can stomach the syntactical strangulations of this interpretation.
The thread descends into, as usual, sheer bullying and baiting by those bullybois who want to suckle Tanya (like Mr Passive-Aggressive, himself, Callum) against those who really see Tanya as the shallow, amoral, man-dependent, gold-digging hypocrite that she is.
BullyboiBex is most upset because people seem to have assumed Tanya and Phil begin a relationship. Well, she gets drunk and comes onto him; they spend the night together - just like the Rolling Stones' song; but we've known all along that Tanya's not above the occasional one-night-stand or even prostituting herself.
Well, silly, we know she's not going to fall in love with Phil, but it's true what the likes of Nebraska have pointed out: Tanya is a woman who simply doesn't cope without a man, and with Tanya, all relationships are about Max.
I've explained before that the Tanya-Max co-dependency is based on sex and comfort. And Tanya's need to raise herself above her poor white trash roots. It's true, Max Branning has never been a wealthy man, but when she nabbed him off his wife and child, she saw a white shirt and a company car (whose back seat was a fuckbucket for her). He was her key to a middle class lifestyle, and she grabbed it, turning her back on her putrid mother and the sister she introduced to a drugs-and-alcohol dependency.
It's also true that she drops a man anytime he's poor or insolvent - witness the swiftness with which she dispensed with Sean Slater once he'd served his purpose. (By the way, Tanya was then after Max's financial assets, which totalled some £100k or more in early 2008; had her scheme worked, she'd have left Sean to take the rap for Max's death and she'd have scarpered with the money). Considering that Max's considerable assets were gone by the end of 2009, at which time Tanya walked out on an impoverished Max, it's safe to say she finds money a convenient alternative to sex.
And sex with Max is what drives Tanya.
She spent a year with Jack, humiliating and taunting Max all the way, but returned to Max quick enough when she was released from prison. Jack's lujo holidays and big bank balance made up for the fact that he really wasn't Max when the lights went out. She paraded Greg about Walford as a trophy, even discussing the size and potency of his Dick to her poor, pitiful friend, Jane, locked in a loveless and boring marriage to Ian Beale, only to jump Max's bones at the earliest opportunity after marrying Greg.
Tanya loves Max because sex is best with Max. Max loves Tanya because she tolerates his infidelities and she's familiar. She's comfortable. As for Greg buying the salon for Tanya, Max got in there first. It was the only tangible property he owned at the time of his financial collapse was the salon, which got repossessed.
As we've seen many times as well, Tanya simply falls apart when a man's not in her life - lumbering her teenaged daughter with her cancer cold secrets while she runs from life-saving treatment, falling down dead drunk in the street with her putrid mother because Max married another woman when he was divorced from her. (OK for Tanya to marry gormless Greg, but Max is supposed to wait on the sidelines for an appropriate moment in which to seduce her, so she can blame him and he can take the flack when her iniquities get discovered).
Manless at the moment, why else wouldn't Tanya be content to start something with Phil? He's a wealthy and powerful man in the community. True again, what Nebraska says, that Tanya's probably secretly jealous that fat-and-fortysomething Sharon's being fought over by a man who used to fuck Tanya on a good night and Phil Mitchell, while Tanya wilts in the background because she kicked Max out for telling the truth. Copping Phil Mitchell would be one in the goggle-eye for Fat Barbie, and if something arose from this, then she'd at least be solvent. Besides, Phil Mitchell's had enough glamourous women on his arm and in his bed to attest to the fact that he probably is way above the likes of most of the men in Walford in the bedroom department.
Tanya would get to be even snottier and more unbearable if she had the chance of moving in with Phil Mitchell. She'd make Shirley's "Do You Know Who I Am" period look like a spell in a convent.
But BullyBoiBex and Mr Passive-Aggressive Callum needn't worry. Their fragrant Yummy Mummy isn't going to sully her soul (or her already grimy knickers) with the likes of Phil Mitchell.
But my bet is that she won't leave Walford smelling like a rose.
You can catch up with the bullying and baiting here, if you can stomach the syntactical strangulations of this interpretation.
The thread descends into, as usual, sheer bullying and baiting by those bullybois who want to suckle Tanya (like Mr Passive-Aggressive, himself, Callum) against those who really see Tanya as the shallow, amoral, man-dependent, gold-digging hypocrite that she is.
BullyboiBex is most upset because people seem to have assumed Tanya and Phil begin a relationship. Well, she gets drunk and comes onto him; they spend the night together - just like the Rolling Stones' song; but we've known all along that Tanya's not above the occasional one-night-stand or even prostituting herself.
Well, silly, we know she's not going to fall in love with Phil, but it's true what the likes of Nebraska have pointed out: Tanya is a woman who simply doesn't cope without a man, and with Tanya, all relationships are about Max.
I've explained before that the Tanya-Max co-dependency is based on sex and comfort. And Tanya's need to raise herself above her poor white trash roots. It's true, Max Branning has never been a wealthy man, but when she nabbed him off his wife and child, she saw a white shirt and a company car (whose back seat was a fuckbucket for her). He was her key to a middle class lifestyle, and she grabbed it, turning her back on her putrid mother and the sister she introduced to a drugs-and-alcohol dependency.
It's also true that she drops a man anytime he's poor or insolvent - witness the swiftness with which she dispensed with Sean Slater once he'd served his purpose. (By the way, Tanya was then after Max's financial assets, which totalled some £100k or more in early 2008; had her scheme worked, she'd have left Sean to take the rap for Max's death and she'd have scarpered with the money). Considering that Max's considerable assets were gone by the end of 2009, at which time Tanya walked out on an impoverished Max, it's safe to say she finds money a convenient alternative to sex.
And sex with Max is what drives Tanya.
She spent a year with Jack, humiliating and taunting Max all the way, but returned to Max quick enough when she was released from prison. Jack's lujo holidays and big bank balance made up for the fact that he really wasn't Max when the lights went out. She paraded Greg about Walford as a trophy, even discussing the size and potency of his Dick to her poor, pitiful friend, Jane, locked in a loveless and boring marriage to Ian Beale, only to jump Max's bones at the earliest opportunity after marrying Greg.
Tanya loves Max because sex is best with Max. Max loves Tanya because she tolerates his infidelities and she's familiar. She's comfortable. As for Greg buying the salon for Tanya, Max got in there first. It was the only tangible property he owned at the time of his financial collapse was the salon, which got repossessed.
As we've seen many times as well, Tanya simply falls apart when a man's not in her life - lumbering her teenaged daughter with her cancer cold secrets while she runs from life-saving treatment, falling down dead drunk in the street with her putrid mother because Max married another woman when he was divorced from her. (OK for Tanya to marry gormless Greg, but Max is supposed to wait on the sidelines for an appropriate moment in which to seduce her, so she can blame him and he can take the flack when her iniquities get discovered).
Manless at the moment, why else wouldn't Tanya be content to start something with Phil? He's a wealthy and powerful man in the community. True again, what Nebraska says, that Tanya's probably secretly jealous that fat-and-fortysomething Sharon's being fought over by a man who used to fuck Tanya on a good night and Phil Mitchell, while Tanya wilts in the background because she kicked Max out for telling the truth. Copping Phil Mitchell would be one in the goggle-eye for Fat Barbie, and if something arose from this, then she'd at least be solvent. Besides, Phil Mitchell's had enough glamourous women on his arm and in his bed to attest to the fact that he probably is way above the likes of most of the men in Walford in the bedroom department.
Tanya would get to be even snottier and more unbearable if she had the chance of moving in with Phil Mitchell. She'd make Shirley's "Do You Know Who I Am" period look like a spell in a convent.
But BullyBoiBex and Mr Passive-Aggressive Callum needn't worry. Their fragrant Yummy Mummy isn't going to sully her soul (or her already grimy knickers) with the likes of Phil Mitchell.
But my bet is that she won't leave Walford smelling like a rose.
I love reading your articles but I do find it horrible the way you remark on Tish Dean's weights frequently.
ReplyDeleteSuck it up. My blog, my prerogative.
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