The time approaches for someone to depart. Come May (we hope), loads of fangirls and bullybois who dream of suckling her, will have to bid farewell to the toxic Lady Madonna that is Tanya.
Let's say good-bye now ... You can just imagine the yoof of EastEnders warbling this as her fat, bottle arse climbs into the ubiquitous black cab.
As the time approaches for her departure, many a fangirl, especially on Digital Spy, is launching thread after thread bemoaning the loss of such an important character. Not. The most recent whine is this thread, wondering why so many people dislike Tanya now.
I can remember a time, five years ago, when if anyone uttered a word of criticism against Yummy Mummy, you were condemned as charged. Now, it seems, since her return in 2010, people have, at last, seen Tanya for what she is - a hypocritical piece of poor white trash, an amoral woman who wasn't above breaking up Max's first marriage, who married Greg Jessop for material reasons and cheated on him with Max almost immediately, an entitled trollop, a selfish woman who puts her own wants and desires before those of her children, an attempted murderer, who never ever accepts responsibility for anything she's done. A drunk. A totally unlikeable character wrapped in a sick and co-dependent relationship based entirely on sex and comfort. A bitch.
Nice to know some people have woken up and smelled the coffee - or in Tanya's case, the booze.
People have also turned on Tanya because, more than any one character, she represents the hopeless myriad of pointlessly circular storylines for which the show has become famous. She and Max break up only to make up. Again. And again. And again. And each break-up is always Max's fault. Never Tanya's. And after each break-up for which Max is blamed, his daughters - his fucking daughters, I ask you - order him to leave Walford forever. Don't come back ... until Tanya gets so desperate in her inability to cope that he's begged to return.
Tanya is yet another aimless and dependent character who never learns from her mistakes. Like Kat. And Bianca. And scores of others. And who never takes the blame for her actions. She's yet another female character who has been, at various times, described as "feisty" and "strong," when she's neither.
She is venal, hypocritical, shallow and mean. And good riddance to her fat arse when she leaves.
And leave she will. Soon.
She's leaving. Going. Gone. Enough of this "taking a break" euphemism, because that's what it is. Here's the history of that phrase, which is EastEnders' PR spin used when a popular character decides to leave.
In 2005, most of the A-list actors in the soap signalled their intention to leave. That year saw the departures of Tracy-Ann Obermann (Chrissie), Shane Richie (Alfie), Jessie Wallace (Kat) and Nigel Harman (Saint Dennis). Letitia Dean was leaving too. Actually, she'd already left the previous year, at Christmas 2004, but TPTB kept that one quiet. She left on the understanding that she would return for one episode, to be aired in February 2005, which saw the absolute end of Den Watts; then she would return later in the year for the discovery of Den's body, her marriage to her brother (let's be honest, that's what it was) and to facilitate Harman's leaving.
There was no way TPTB could disguise that Sharon was leaving after Dennis was killed, but with so many other big names departing in what looked like a cluster, And with Walford's original Princess scarpering too, it might have whetted the appetites of the tabloids who lived for anything negative to print about EastEnders.
So, to keep the press at bay and to soothe the frazzled nerves of the millions of fangirls who creamed their knickers nightly at the thought of Shannis, the spin department announced that Letitia Dean wasn't exactly leaving EastEnders. Instead, she was "taking a break" - a break which lasted six years.
Similarly, when Natalie Cassidy left the show, it was also announced that she was "taking a break." Oh, and Samantha Womack is currently "taking a break" too.
In Eastiesland, "taking a break" means someone's chosen not to renew their contract. Let's see if I can explain it simply. Say you get a job at McDonalds to serve at the drive-in counter for one year. You sign a contract in September 2012, which will end in September 2013. You do a good job, but you're not happy. You can make more money at Sainsbury's across the road. So at your annual appraisal, when your line manager offers you a new contract for another year and you say "No thanks," you've chosen not to renew your contract.
You can't just walk into the branch three months after leaving, when there was no wonder job at Sainsbury's and say you're ready to come back at McDonalds. There's no guarantee they'd even have a job for you. In the interim, your manager's hired a plethora of clued-up Romanian kids who'll work for half the price you did, so that's your tough luck.
Unusually, it was first announced on Digital Spy that Joyner was leaving in an article published last May. Not surprisingly, DS used the ubiquitous "taking a break" angle, so as to assauge the fears of many of Jo's fangirls on the forum who suffer from naturalised lobotomies.
In fact, bit DS and The Daily Star (from which the article is taken) both say that Joyner told TPTB that she wanted to go next year (that's this year now) when her contract expires. The articles go on to say that she will return sometime in the future.
What is left dangling is when in the future and if she is needed. Again, this turn of phrase is spin issued to quell the nerves of the Joyner cheerleading squad.
The truth is, the actress cannot dictate when she will return. That's down to whatever Executive Producer is in charge and if he or she decides she's relevant.
What is also obvious is that, however much they talk about a break or however much Joyner rambles something about "six months" or Jake Wood reckons a year, it's not a specified time - not the sabbatical of one year Steve McFadden took in 2003 - stated definitely at one time - nor is it the six-month stipulated breaks that the likes of Charlie Brooks, Patsy Palmer and June Brown took last year. We knew that they would be gone for six months and they were.
There is no such thing as a break of unspecified length. Joyner's either on gardening leave or she's left, opting not to renew her contract. We know she's not been suspended indefinitely because of gross misconduct or something more serious (which is gardening leave such as Corrie's Michael Le Vell is under at the moment), so that leaves the latter option: She's going.
When her contract expires, she will no longer be a part of the EastEnders' establishment. She can stay at home with her kids or take a part in something on ITV or just spend her time eating. It's not down to her when or even if she returns to EastEnders. It's down to whoever is at the helm.
So all the Peanut Gallery usuals expostulating on Digital Spy and elsewhere about Yummy Mummy's departure can order up a big glass of wine and cry into it for the loss of Saint Tanya.
My guess (and hope) is that she won't return.
Let's say good-bye now ... You can just imagine the yoof of EastEnders warbling this as her fat, bottle arse climbs into the ubiquitous black cab.
As the time approaches for her departure, many a fangirl, especially on Digital Spy, is launching thread after thread bemoaning the loss of such an important character. Not. The most recent whine is this thread, wondering why so many people dislike Tanya now.
I can remember a time, five years ago, when if anyone uttered a word of criticism against Yummy Mummy, you were condemned as charged. Now, it seems, since her return in 2010, people have, at last, seen Tanya for what she is - a hypocritical piece of poor white trash, an amoral woman who wasn't above breaking up Max's first marriage, who married Greg Jessop for material reasons and cheated on him with Max almost immediately, an entitled trollop, a selfish woman who puts her own wants and desires before those of her children, an attempted murderer, who never ever accepts responsibility for anything she's done. A drunk. A totally unlikeable character wrapped in a sick and co-dependent relationship based entirely on sex and comfort. A bitch.
Nice to know some people have woken up and smelled the coffee - or in Tanya's case, the booze.
People have also turned on Tanya because, more than any one character, she represents the hopeless myriad of pointlessly circular storylines for which the show has become famous. She and Max break up only to make up. Again. And again. And again. And each break-up is always Max's fault. Never Tanya's. And after each break-up for which Max is blamed, his daughters - his fucking daughters, I ask you - order him to leave Walford forever. Don't come back ... until Tanya gets so desperate in her inability to cope that he's begged to return.
Tanya is yet another aimless and dependent character who never learns from her mistakes. Like Kat. And Bianca. And scores of others. And who never takes the blame for her actions. She's yet another female character who has been, at various times, described as "feisty" and "strong," when she's neither.
She is venal, hypocritical, shallow and mean. And good riddance to her fat arse when she leaves.
And leave she will. Soon.
She's leaving. Going. Gone. Enough of this "taking a break" euphemism, because that's what it is. Here's the history of that phrase, which is EastEnders' PR spin used when a popular character decides to leave.
In 2005, most of the A-list actors in the soap signalled their intention to leave. That year saw the departures of Tracy-Ann Obermann (Chrissie), Shane Richie (Alfie), Jessie Wallace (Kat) and Nigel Harman (Saint Dennis). Letitia Dean was leaving too. Actually, she'd already left the previous year, at Christmas 2004, but TPTB kept that one quiet. She left on the understanding that she would return for one episode, to be aired in February 2005, which saw the absolute end of Den Watts; then she would return later in the year for the discovery of Den's body, her marriage to her brother (let's be honest, that's what it was) and to facilitate Harman's leaving.
There was no way TPTB could disguise that Sharon was leaving after Dennis was killed, but with so many other big names departing in what looked like a cluster, And with Walford's original Princess scarpering too, it might have whetted the appetites of the tabloids who lived for anything negative to print about EastEnders.
So, to keep the press at bay and to soothe the frazzled nerves of the millions of fangirls who creamed their knickers nightly at the thought of Shannis, the spin department announced that Letitia Dean wasn't exactly leaving EastEnders. Instead, she was "taking a break" - a break which lasted six years.
Similarly, when Natalie Cassidy left the show, it was also announced that she was "taking a break." Oh, and Samantha Womack is currently "taking a break" too.
In Eastiesland, "taking a break" means someone's chosen not to renew their contract. Let's see if I can explain it simply. Say you get a job at McDonalds to serve at the drive-in counter for one year. You sign a contract in September 2012, which will end in September 2013. You do a good job, but you're not happy. You can make more money at Sainsbury's across the road. So at your annual appraisal, when your line manager offers you a new contract for another year and you say "No thanks," you've chosen not to renew your contract.
You can't just walk into the branch three months after leaving, when there was no wonder job at Sainsbury's and say you're ready to come back at McDonalds. There's no guarantee they'd even have a job for you. In the interim, your manager's hired a plethora of clued-up Romanian kids who'll work for half the price you did, so that's your tough luck.
Unusually, it was first announced on Digital Spy that Joyner was leaving in an article published last May. Not surprisingly, DS used the ubiquitous "taking a break" angle, so as to assauge the fears of many of Jo's fangirls on the forum who suffer from naturalised lobotomies.
In fact, bit DS and The Daily Star (from which the article is taken) both say that Joyner told TPTB that she wanted to go next year (that's this year now) when her contract expires. The articles go on to say that she will return sometime in the future.
What is left dangling is when in the future and if she is needed. Again, this turn of phrase is spin issued to quell the nerves of the Joyner cheerleading squad.
The truth is, the actress cannot dictate when she will return. That's down to whatever Executive Producer is in charge and if he or she decides she's relevant.
What is also obvious is that, however much they talk about a break or however much Joyner rambles something about "six months" or Jake Wood reckons a year, it's not a specified time - not the sabbatical of one year Steve McFadden took in 2003 - stated definitely at one time - nor is it the six-month stipulated breaks that the likes of Charlie Brooks, Patsy Palmer and June Brown took last year. We knew that they would be gone for six months and they were.
There is no such thing as a break of unspecified length. Joyner's either on gardening leave or she's left, opting not to renew her contract. We know she's not been suspended indefinitely because of gross misconduct or something more serious (which is gardening leave such as Corrie's Michael Le Vell is under at the moment), so that leaves the latter option: She's going.
When her contract expires, she will no longer be a part of the EastEnders' establishment. She can stay at home with her kids or take a part in something on ITV or just spend her time eating. It's not down to her when or even if she returns to EastEnders. It's down to whoever is at the helm.
So all the Peanut Gallery usuals expostulating on Digital Spy and elsewhere about Yummy Mummy's departure can order up a big glass of wine and cry into it for the loss of Saint Tanya.
My guess (and hope) is that she won't return.
Exactly what I tried to get across - but I was wasting my time, seemingly.
ReplyDeleteIf you are out of contract, you no longer work for a company - whether a TV production company, as an office junior or even in the civil service, come to that. It is what it says on the tin. Out of contract.
When she has had enough time 'at home' it will be up to Jo Joyner to make her availability known to the EP (whoever that may be at the time - hopefully not LN) and a decision will be made whether a return of Tanya to our screens is wanted or needed.
I expect the plummeting ratings have proved that endless Branning-centric storylines are sounding the death-knell to viewer's interest in the show, so my thought is that they will tell her 'thanks, but no thanks'.
IMO it would be a really bad step to bring her back. IF Max survives the inevitable axe we would surely be served up the re-hash of the tired old Tanya/Max on-off relationship again.
We've already seen this dozens of times and it would be good to move on.