This just about sums it all up ...
Sharon's torn between two lovers ... she knows she loves Phil, but for some reason - oh hell, Simon Ashdown's wet dreams - she's paired with a plank of wood. I'm surprised she doesn't find it painful to walk, with all those splinters in her woo-woo.
Katshit's torn between two lovers - her long-suffering husband who doesn't deserve such a slut of a wife and Dewek (let's be honest - Shaggerman is the Toad).
Cora's torn between a bottle of booze and a packet of fags. (Special mention to the Walford Web commentator Arthur Lager for deeming Cora the Bora the Queen of Nicotine.
Tonight was the archtypical filler episode, with just as much airtime spent on nothing as on the major storyline, which was the Lexie Custody Battle, and mercifully, even less time spent on that dried-up old prune-faced bitter and twisted Rod Stewart wannabe ...
I mean, let's face it, if you were Phil Mitchell, would you want to wake up beside this ...
Or this ...
Unless you're Moaning Lisa, who interprets every word and every action imparted by Phil Mitchell as something incumbent on his undying love for Shirley, there really isn't a choice.
For a filler episode, this was pretty watchable, if for no other reason than it supplied us with a dearth of Brannings.
Phil was absolutely right to inform Sharon that she really knew nothing at all about Jack Branning. For example, she may know he's Amy's father, but does she know that he slept with and impregnated Roxy, whilst in an on-again-off-again relationship with her sister, whom he subsequently married? Does she know that Jack not only managed to impregnate both Mitchell sisters, but also Sam Mitchell as well? That's Sam, who - at one time - was Sharon's sister-in-law.
Does she know about Jack's history as a bent copper, one who was hand-in-glove with and on the payroll of drugs' barons, something which resulted in his daughter being disabled? Does she know that he spent a year sleeping around with his brother's wife, her new BFF Tanya, and ridiculing, harassing and humiliating Max? Does she know how little he sees his own children, including the one who lives on the Square, whilst he plays da-da with Denny?
Does she know that Jack was willing and actually tried to break the law by forging Roxy's signature on Amy's passport application when he was trying to get custody of her? Does she know he's the most priapic male on the Square and was heavily into threesomes before he collided with her three months ago?
Does she know she'd better be off to the GPs to get tested and treated for chlamydia or the clap?
Jack is the male slut of Walford.
Jack's also jealous, and if anything, Shirley's words ring true about him. Shirley thinks Phil always gets what he wants, but he doesn't really. He's never really "got" Sharon, but Shirley knows he's loved her all these years. And, being a woman, her intuition can sense that Sharon's more drawn to and more comfortable with Phil than Jack. Hell, the viewers can see that.
And does Sharon know that Jack rejected Phil's call when she was "in the shower" (if she really were). Sharon has a thing about men making judgements or decisions for her - cf: Grant. When Jack rejected the call and later confronted Phil in that petty, petulant, spoiled and entitled way, he was channeling Grant ca 1992. And whilst that trait was sometimes sublimated to Grant's PTSD vulnerability, Jack has none of that.
Meanwhile, the Phil we're seeing is strictly vintage 1990s Phil, and we have Sharon to thank for that. Millennium Phil would be nervous and jerky because of this hitch, but he'd have approached Shirley with all guns blazing. Shirley thinks she's got him over a barrel in his anxiety attack, but it's clear that Shirl knows little about the real Phil Mitchell - how a quiet threat issues more fear than bombast, which is most of Shirley's make-up.
Shirley is nothing without Phil, and that's part of what is frustrating her; because a lot of the buzz Shirl got from Phil was the power and prestige amongst the local yokels she enjoyed from being Phil Mitchell's bedmate.
Those boots were made for walking all over the little people of Walford, and strut she did, with the ever present question of "Do you know who I am?" incumbent upon her fag-ridden lips.
Whatever she was came as a result of her association with Phil. She knew she was only ensconced in his house at his pleasure, and she feared the day when - when - Sharon returned to Walford. This was the same woman who was still willing to stay with Phil when he was honest enough to tell her he couldn't promise fidelity to her - "because that's the way I am." That was tantamount to an admission that he didn't love her, but she took the scraps from his table anyway. For her ego's sake.
Now, especially after Phil's more-than-honest confession yesterday - that everything he had done thus far, especially with Heather's cover-up, was done for Ben, that it was only, ever and always for Ben (including actually living with Shirley because Ben had, curiously. bonded with a woman for whom children were never her strongest point - Shirley's less than nothing in Walford. She has no job, no money and she's staying at the B and B on Denise's hospitality.
Her attempt at psychologically manipulating Lola, trying to relate to her as one mother to another, was a blatant joke. There isn't a maternal bone in Shirley's body. She walked on her kids, two of whom were conceived as a result of one night stands, and were raised by the man who wasn't their biological father. She left the heavy work for Kevin whilst she went out shagging and partying with Heather, who - in her own right - became more of a surrogate child than Shirley's own children, to the point that when Shirley's son came back into her life, Heather was actually jealous. And yet she fudged on Heather whenever a man offered her something for her own self - which is what she did with Phil. Remember that not only Phil, but also Shirley spoke of and to Heather many times as though she were a piece of poo.
I'm glad Lola saw through Shirley's guile, but then the viewer knows that Phil is going to stiff Lola as well; however, even if she had sided with Shirley, how could Shirley ever hope to get custody of Lexie back for Lola? Lola's sticking with the devil she knows rather than that which she doesn't, and at the moment, Phil looks as though he's working for her.
The fact that Phil panicked today doesn't mean he's afraid of Shirley in any way, or Jack. It simply means that he's human. Anyone who watched the show pre-Grant's departure will recognise this Phil. And the abandonment of the faux engagement isn't really Phil giving Sharon back to Jack; it's enabling her to see what and who Jack really is, whilst giving Phil enough time to get custody of Lexie and then pursue Sharon in his own right - which is what he'll do when he genuinely proposes to her early next year.
The stopwatch is ticking down on Shirley. As Lorraine Newman has indicated, her children won't be returning, nor will any of her extended family (that means Zsa Zsa and the unseen Tina), so she's basically redundant ... unless you believe the deluded troll who thinks this entire thing is kabuki theatre which will end in Phil reuniting with Hatchet-Face and being in total submission to her for the rest of his days.
Please. The reason Phil kept the picture of Shirley and Ben was because this was his most recent picture of Ben. The camera panned over a series of pictures showing the people who really were important to Phil - Peggy, Billy and the Mitchell sisters, Phil with baby Louise, Grant and finally ... lingering on a picture of Phil with Sharon taken at Christmas twenty years ago. Foreshadowing, Moaning Lisa.
Put bluntly, TPTB didn't secure the services of Letitia Dean to make her into a Branning clone and a Branning satellite. And Shirley is not only not Phil's type, he doesn't love the bitch. When you get Letitia Dean and Steve McFadden back in EastEnders together, only one thing is gonna happen. Suck it up, Moaning.
Here's a song for Shirley ...
Shirley should heed this advice ...
The dreary, continuing saga of Shaggerman continues, with it being made evident to Alfie that Kat is a liar and - again - a cheat. Actually, if you've watched Alfie, every move she's made has been watched with the subtlest suspicion; and tonight was just the beginning of proof that his suspicions have been right.
It's still straw-clutching at the moment, but trust me, the proof is in him finding Viv's engagement ring. There was a rare moment of warmth with Roxy, and the viewer could see why he deserves to be with someone who genuinely loves him, rather than a sour-faced old trout and trollop like Kat.
The sooner this story ends, the better.
Cora the Bora has suddenly found her mojo, although I'd hate to be in her shoes when Dot the Avenging Angel returns to Walford to find that Cora's filled Dot's house with strangers, hasn't paid the bills and now has her old job in the launderette.
"Closing" the launderette was a Kirkwood idea, which didn't really work, did it? The charity shop was the de facto launderette-cum-market, and instead of the cup of tea Dot kept in ready supply, Cora kept a stash of booze in the back room.
The interplay tonight with Poppy was poor. We don't need to be told that Poppy is an airhead, when - in actuality - she's not. A character like that adds nothing to the show, and - like Kim - she's not funny. That's a shame, because Rachel Bright is one of the better young actresses in the show at the moment.
Denise is always watchable, and I liked the brief exchange with Roxy. I'd like to see these two become friends, as they're both pretty down-to-earth and good people. I just hate seeing Denise reduced to playing straight man toFlip Wilson Kim. I wouldn't joke, Kim, about being the best "scrubber" around. Reputations have a way of preceeding people.
I know this isn't imminent, and it may not even happen, because we know there's going to be something with Ray and Denise, but I wouldn't be averse to an Ian and Denise true romance. Denise wouldn't allow Ian to walk over her, which Jane did at the beginning of their relationship; and Denise has her own business and could pretty much match Ian in equality. She'd also put that little bitch Lucy in her place, in no uncertain terms.
Something's wrong with MahAliceMahAngel. Somebody better go ask her ...
My guess is that MahAliceMahAngel has actually lost her job. It wouldn't surprise me. I almost gagged a maggot when she said that she had the morning off because the company owed time to her. She's never there!
MahAliceMahAngel is always having days off or pulling sickies. Still, that gave us the opportunity to see how TPTB wasted the development of Jamie Foreman's character for the past year. The other day, he had a corker of a scene with Patsy Palmer, and today he and Lindsey Coulson were one of the most watchable bits of the episode. They really were adult siblings in the naturalness of their association and delivery. How many of us haven't had a cheeky close relative insinuate a cup of tea would be nice and then ask if there were anything to eat on offer. And all under the pretence of getting Carol to mentor Alice and move in with them.
What a shame they wasted Derek on gangsta shit and Shaggerman.
Sharon's torn between two lovers ... she knows she loves Phil, but for some reason - oh hell, Simon Ashdown's wet dreams - she's paired with a plank of wood. I'm surprised she doesn't find it painful to walk, with all those splinters in her woo-woo.
Katshit's torn between two lovers - her long-suffering husband who doesn't deserve such a slut of a wife and Dewek (let's be honest - Shaggerman is the Toad).
Cora's torn between a bottle of booze and a packet of fags. (Special mention to the Walford Web commentator Arthur Lager for deeming Cora the Bora the Queen of Nicotine.
Tonight was the archtypical filler episode, with just as much airtime spent on nothing as on the major storyline, which was the Lexie Custody Battle, and mercifully, even less time spent on that dried-up old prune-faced bitter and twisted Rod Stewart wannabe ...
I mean, let's face it, if you were Phil Mitchell, would you want to wake up beside this ...
Or this ...
Unless you're Moaning Lisa, who interprets every word and every action imparted by Phil Mitchell as something incumbent on his undying love for Shirley, there really isn't a choice.
For a filler episode, this was pretty watchable, if for no other reason than it supplied us with a dearth of Brannings.
Phil was absolutely right to inform Sharon that she really knew nothing at all about Jack Branning. For example, she may know he's Amy's father, but does she know that he slept with and impregnated Roxy, whilst in an on-again-off-again relationship with her sister, whom he subsequently married? Does she know that Jack not only managed to impregnate both Mitchell sisters, but also Sam Mitchell as well? That's Sam, who - at one time - was Sharon's sister-in-law.
Does she know about Jack's history as a bent copper, one who was hand-in-glove with and on the payroll of drugs' barons, something which resulted in his daughter being disabled? Does she know that he spent a year sleeping around with his brother's wife, her new BFF Tanya, and ridiculing, harassing and humiliating Max? Does she know how little he sees his own children, including the one who lives on the Square, whilst he plays da-da with Denny?
Does she know that Jack was willing and actually tried to break the law by forging Roxy's signature on Amy's passport application when he was trying to get custody of her? Does she know he's the most priapic male on the Square and was heavily into threesomes before he collided with her three months ago?
Does she know she'd better be off to the GPs to get tested and treated for chlamydia or the clap?
Jack is the male slut of Walford.
Jack's also jealous, and if anything, Shirley's words ring true about him. Shirley thinks Phil always gets what he wants, but he doesn't really. He's never really "got" Sharon, but Shirley knows he's loved her all these years. And, being a woman, her intuition can sense that Sharon's more drawn to and more comfortable with Phil than Jack. Hell, the viewers can see that.
And does Sharon know that Jack rejected Phil's call when she was "in the shower" (if she really were). Sharon has a thing about men making judgements or decisions for her - cf: Grant. When Jack rejected the call and later confronted Phil in that petty, petulant, spoiled and entitled way, he was channeling Grant ca 1992. And whilst that trait was sometimes sublimated to Grant's PTSD vulnerability, Jack has none of that.
Meanwhile, the Phil we're seeing is strictly vintage 1990s Phil, and we have Sharon to thank for that. Millennium Phil would be nervous and jerky because of this hitch, but he'd have approached Shirley with all guns blazing. Shirley thinks she's got him over a barrel in his anxiety attack, but it's clear that Shirl knows little about the real Phil Mitchell - how a quiet threat issues more fear than bombast, which is most of Shirley's make-up.
Shirley is nothing without Phil, and that's part of what is frustrating her; because a lot of the buzz Shirl got from Phil was the power and prestige amongst the local yokels she enjoyed from being Phil Mitchell's bedmate.
Those boots were made for walking all over the little people of Walford, and strut she did, with the ever present question of "Do you know who I am?" incumbent upon her fag-ridden lips.
Whatever she was came as a result of her association with Phil. She knew she was only ensconced in his house at his pleasure, and she feared the day when - when - Sharon returned to Walford. This was the same woman who was still willing to stay with Phil when he was honest enough to tell her he couldn't promise fidelity to her - "because that's the way I am." That was tantamount to an admission that he didn't love her, but she took the scraps from his table anyway. For her ego's sake.
Now, especially after Phil's more-than-honest confession yesterday - that everything he had done thus far, especially with Heather's cover-up, was done for Ben, that it was only, ever and always for Ben (including actually living with Shirley because Ben had, curiously. bonded with a woman for whom children were never her strongest point - Shirley's less than nothing in Walford. She has no job, no money and she's staying at the B and B on Denise's hospitality.
Her attempt at psychologically manipulating Lola, trying to relate to her as one mother to another, was a blatant joke. There isn't a maternal bone in Shirley's body. She walked on her kids, two of whom were conceived as a result of one night stands, and were raised by the man who wasn't their biological father. She left the heavy work for Kevin whilst she went out shagging and partying with Heather, who - in her own right - became more of a surrogate child than Shirley's own children, to the point that when Shirley's son came back into her life, Heather was actually jealous. And yet she fudged on Heather whenever a man offered her something for her own self - which is what she did with Phil. Remember that not only Phil, but also Shirley spoke of and to Heather many times as though she were a piece of poo.
I'm glad Lola saw through Shirley's guile, but then the viewer knows that Phil is going to stiff Lola as well; however, even if she had sided with Shirley, how could Shirley ever hope to get custody of Lexie back for Lola? Lola's sticking with the devil she knows rather than that which she doesn't, and at the moment, Phil looks as though he's working for her.
The fact that Phil panicked today doesn't mean he's afraid of Shirley in any way, or Jack. It simply means that he's human. Anyone who watched the show pre-Grant's departure will recognise this Phil. And the abandonment of the faux engagement isn't really Phil giving Sharon back to Jack; it's enabling her to see what and who Jack really is, whilst giving Phil enough time to get custody of Lexie and then pursue Sharon in his own right - which is what he'll do when he genuinely proposes to her early next year.
The stopwatch is ticking down on Shirley. As Lorraine Newman has indicated, her children won't be returning, nor will any of her extended family (that means Zsa Zsa and the unseen Tina), so she's basically redundant ... unless you believe the deluded troll who thinks this entire thing is kabuki theatre which will end in Phil reuniting with Hatchet-Face and being in total submission to her for the rest of his days.
Please. The reason Phil kept the picture of Shirley and Ben was because this was his most recent picture of Ben. The camera panned over a series of pictures showing the people who really were important to Phil - Peggy, Billy and the Mitchell sisters, Phil with baby Louise, Grant and finally ... lingering on a picture of Phil with Sharon taken at Christmas twenty years ago. Foreshadowing, Moaning Lisa.
Put bluntly, TPTB didn't secure the services of Letitia Dean to make her into a Branning clone and a Branning satellite. And Shirley is not only not Phil's type, he doesn't love the bitch. When you get Letitia Dean and Steve McFadden back in EastEnders together, only one thing is gonna happen. Suck it up, Moaning.
Here's a song for Shirley ...
Shirley should heed this advice ...
The dreary, continuing saga of Shaggerman continues, with it being made evident to Alfie that Kat is a liar and - again - a cheat. Actually, if you've watched Alfie, every move she's made has been watched with the subtlest suspicion; and tonight was just the beginning of proof that his suspicions have been right.
It's still straw-clutching at the moment, but trust me, the proof is in him finding Viv's engagement ring. There was a rare moment of warmth with Roxy, and the viewer could see why he deserves to be with someone who genuinely loves him, rather than a sour-faced old trout and trollop like Kat.
The sooner this story ends, the better.
Cora the Bora has suddenly found her mojo, although I'd hate to be in her shoes when Dot the Avenging Angel returns to Walford to find that Cora's filled Dot's house with strangers, hasn't paid the bills and now has her old job in the launderette.
"Closing" the launderette was a Kirkwood idea, which didn't really work, did it? The charity shop was the de facto launderette-cum-market, and instead of the cup of tea Dot kept in ready supply, Cora kept a stash of booze in the back room.
The interplay tonight with Poppy was poor. We don't need to be told that Poppy is an airhead, when - in actuality - she's not. A character like that adds nothing to the show, and - like Kim - she's not funny. That's a shame, because Rachel Bright is one of the better young actresses in the show at the moment.
Denise is always watchable, and I liked the brief exchange with Roxy. I'd like to see these two become friends, as they're both pretty down-to-earth and good people. I just hate seeing Denise reduced to playing straight man to
I know this isn't imminent, and it may not even happen, because we know there's going to be something with Ray and Denise, but I wouldn't be averse to an Ian and Denise true romance. Denise wouldn't allow Ian to walk over her, which Jane did at the beginning of their relationship; and Denise has her own business and could pretty much match Ian in equality. She'd also put that little bitch Lucy in her place, in no uncertain terms.
Something's wrong with MahAliceMahAngel. Somebody better go ask her ...
My guess is that MahAliceMahAngel has actually lost her job. It wouldn't surprise me. I almost gagged a maggot when she said that she had the morning off because the company owed time to her. She's never there!
MahAliceMahAngel is always having days off or pulling sickies. Still, that gave us the opportunity to see how TPTB wasted the development of Jamie Foreman's character for the past year. The other day, he had a corker of a scene with Patsy Palmer, and today he and Lindsey Coulson were one of the most watchable bits of the episode. They really were adult siblings in the naturalness of their association and delivery. How many of us haven't had a cheeky close relative insinuate a cup of tea would be nice and then ask if there were anything to eat on offer. And all under the pretence of getting Carol to mentor Alice and move in with them.
What a shame they wasted Derek on gangsta shit and Shaggerman.
Despite this episode being a bit better than the average episode of recent months -the poor reputation of the show is evident in the ratings-7.15 million in cold December is shocking by this shows standards .dan2008 now says these ratings are totally fine after years of patronsing Digital Spy saying EastEnders alaways regularly gets over 8 million in the Autumn and winter!Heads in the sand at Elstree HQ cannot surely carry on much longer?
ReplyDeleteAt this episode so Eastenders doing better than Emmerdale. To think this used to be the most watched soap.
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