Monday, December 24, 2012

Wieldeth the Axe, An It Please You

Nebraska, the Janus of Walford Web Kindergarten wonders:-

I don't like what they're doing wit Kat and Alfie. It's boring, repetitive and I can already see where this is going. It can't be a good sign. I will never understand why EE is so averse to splitting couples up for good, given the fact that in RL it happens all the time. 

First point first ...

Ms Newman, current Executive Producer of the show, was in on Kat's creation back in 2000 - in fact, she was the first character Newman had a hand in creating as Series Producer under John Yorke's tutelage. So Kat is sorta kinda like a firstborn child to Newman. She was also in on the creation of Alfie Moon three years later.

Sometimes, in SoapLand, there are couples who are only meant ever to be together - Ken and Deirdre, Pauline and Arthur,  Pat and Frank ... Kat and Alfie. TPTB obviously believe Kat and Alfie are as good as it gets - and there are people who do stay married, so they want them to remain a couple.

Back in 2005, when Shane Richie decided to leave, TPTB decided that Kat wasn't enough of a standalone character to survive on her own without Alfie, they were too much the feel-good couple, so Wallace was axed.

Now the first point leads into the second: Normally on a soap, when a couple is split, one half of the couple leaves the Square or dies. When Anne Kirkbride had her cancer treatment, Ken and Deirdre were kaput. When Bill Treacher decided he wanted to leave the show, TPTB killed Arthur off and made Pauline a widow. Mike Reid left long enough for Pam St Clement to find love with and marry another man; but the minute Reid returned, fell in love with and married Babs Windsor's Peggy, the countdown began to the ultimate affair with Pat.

When Sharon cheated on Grant, this was a prelude to her departure. Under normal circumstances, when Stax was revealed, at least one of the quartet involved should have left the show. When Ian and Jane split, she left the Square. Any semblance of remaining in the area, being seen each day and working in close proximity gives rise to a will-they-won't-they situation and the yo-yo couple is born.

Tanya is leaving. If she doesn't return, we'll see Max's character moved in an entirely different direction. If she returns ultimately, we'll be back to counting the months, the days and the hours before she's back in his bed and planning the next Branningapalooza wedding. Until she announced her departure, Zainab and Mas were well in contention for becoming the Brannings' natural successor to the yo-yo crown.

Anyway, the real reasons Alfie and Kat are dancing about each other for the next year (Christmas 2013 is, after all, their tenth anniversary), basically have to do with Ms Newman wanting them together as a couple. The only way she would countenance otherwise is if one half of the couple (preferably Wallace, whose character is spent, as opposed to Richie, whose character has potential for further development, especially with Roxy Mitchell) quit the show.

Richie isn't stupid. He's there for the duration. A young family and school fees enhance his desire to be on EastEnders until the cows come home to Walford (and, no, I don't mean Bianca and Whitney). Wallace was axed the first time around. To use another animal analogy, she's not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Rarely are axed characters given a second chance. She's going nowhere and as long as Newman is EP, Kat and Alfie are destined for coupledom. Again.


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