Friday, January 18, 2013


There's an amusing, but very relevant, thread making the rounds on Digital Spy at the moment. You can read the thread here. It's a poll entitled "Do You Ever Think David Witts Will Ever Enunciate Properly?"

I really sincerely hope Witts, himself, and his self-important cohorts read the thread. They're professional actors, after all, and a great part of an actor's job is his vocal deliverance - the ability to enunciate clearly enough for his audience to understand what he's saying.

But David Witts wouldn't know this. Nor would Tony Discipline, another serial offender who cannot be understood, even though he purports to be speaking the English language. Because they've never had any formal acting training.

There are other actors on the show who have trouble enunciating and speaking so the audience can understand them. In addition to Witts and Discipline, we now have Kahil Best and  Shivani Ghai. Best tries the ghetto patois, but his enunciation is as bad as Witts's; and Ghai's delivery is so quiet and delivered in such a thick Geordie accent that it cannot be understood.

There are enough candidates there for a Speech class to be given at Elstree, and on the licence payer's tick too.

Witts, however, is the worst. I never thought I would ever see a worse actor than Liam Bergin (the awful Danny Mitchell), then there was Tony Discipline. Discipline held the title of worst actor for awhile, but now we have Witts.

Allegedly, Witts is a well-spoken lad. It's totally and patently obvious that he was hired for his looks and not for his talent, which is on a level somewhat lower than that possessed by Discipline. As Discipline has no talent, this means Witts has less than none. He started life on EastEnders by mumbling rapidly and in a whisper - evocative of Steve Owen or Beppe Di Marco. Then suddenly one day, he emerged growling and inintelligibly rolling his words with a repetitive sound similar to "argh-argh-argh-argh."

As someone accurately pointed out on Digital Spy, he's attempting to imitate and emulate Jake Wood, as he's supposed to play Wood's nephew in the show. It's not working. 

It's not working because no one can understand Witts. In fact, it's become a running joke on several fora, the way Witts delivers his lines, which no one can understand.

If that's not enough, we have to endure Witts's signature identifying party trick as an actor - the perpetually opened mouth. In every scene in which he appears, there's a moment where the camera lingers on his face, with his mouth hanging open. If this is supposed to be sexy, that isn't working either. Sometimes, however, his inestimable "talent" takes this trick up a gear and he tilts his head to one side whilst having his mouth hang open.

So what we get is this:-

The ex-underwear model hired by Lorraine based on the bulge in the y-fronts he was modeling is anything but a sex symbol. If anything, he's a riot, based only on the fact that he calls his sister  "Aaa-asss" and his cousin girlfriend "Lawn."

EastEnders demeans itself by hiring inexperienced wannabes with dubious talent who can't speak properly like Witts and Discipline, as well as Best, who was obviously hired to play TPTB's idea of what is blatantly a racial stereotype.

I don't know who's insulted more - the actors, who are held in derision by the more intelligent faction of viewers, or the viewers, themselves, whose intelligence and loyatly are insulted by seeing what's supposed to be the BBC's flagship programme become an amateur hour for no-marks ... at our expense.

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