Sunday, January 27, 2013

Kat's Year of Enlightenment OR Newman Is a Big Fat LIAR

Lorraine Newman is a liar, who totally takes advantage of her perceived stupidity of the viewing public. As Executive Producer who's clawed her way up from her start as a script secretary, she's clearly punching above her weight.

Most of the viewing public now hate Kat Moon, a woman who used to be an absolutely iconic figure. Kat's character was totally and utterly destroyed by Newman's predecessor, Bryan Kirkwood, for whom Newman served as his Series Producer, which mean she, too, signed off on Kat's reincarnation as an abusive, foul Queen Bitch marital abuser.

Newman has told the viewers, in two interviews, that her main priority is to repair Kat and to reunite her and Alfie, ostensibly in the pub, where she wants Alfie to be. However, she has promised that 2013 would be a year of emotional journey for Kat, leading to her own enlightenment and resulting in her taking total responsibility for the havoc she's caused. Kat will laugh again, she promised.

To many viewers, this, effectively, killed the Alfie-Roxy dynamic, because we all know now that they will ultimately be sacrificed at the altar of Saint Kat. Roxy will be the unfortunate Vanessa to Alfie's Max - except Roxy won't leave the show upon her rejection; she'll just slink back into the background, an isolated character with no friends and no emotional support.

Newman promised us that, in the weeks following the reveal of Derek Branning as Shaggerman, we'd come to understand why Kat pursued a sexual relationship with this character.

I'm sorry, but we still don't understand - apart from Kat doing her usual "I'm-the-victim-poor-me" shit where she blames everybody else for her predicament, except herself. OK, so she didn't describe herself as "the dirty girl" this time around, but everything else implied that this was so.

In the immediate aftermath of the discovery and even after Derek's death, she blamed Derek from the getgo. She brazenly and desperately told Alfie that Derek forced her into an affair. (Force ... that's rape). That he blackmailed her into continuing it by threatening to tell Alfie. Thatit was all Derek.

We know differently. Too many of us remember the leery, lairy way she was sidling up to all five of the suspects, every other word from her vile mouth sexual innuendo, until she found herself alone in the Vic kitchen, when Shaggerman appeared in the shadows, whereupon she spread her legs and invited him in, literally. The next scene saw her hiking down her skirt and licking her lips lasciviously. We saw her abandon Alfie, waiting for her in the bedroom, to have a quick shag in the alleyway and in the cellar of the Vic. We saw her cooing and laughing at Shaggerman's retreating right foot as she lay in the afterglow of their bedbuggery bedsit.

Fast forward a couple of weeks after Derek's pushing up daisies, and she's now blaming Roxy for the situation. After all, it was Roxy, that slut, who stole Kat's job, Kat's pub and Kat's husband.

Let's get something straight. Roxy never stole anything. The pub belongs to Phil Mitchell, not Alfie and not Kat. Phil appointed his cousin as manager, allowing Alfie's and Kat's names to remain on the licence and allowing them to live upstairs, but they are bar staff to Roxy's management - and that was because, when her affair was initially discovered by Alfie (and when she lied to him about Shaggerman's identity), she whisked him off on an impromptu holiday, leaving Jean to run the pub, which lost money. And thirdly, yes, Roxy loves Alfie and has been in love with him for the better part of a year. She even confessed this to Alfie, who refused to countenance this and remained faithful to Kat.

Now, as of last week, considering her exchange with Kirsty Branning, she's effectively blaming Alfie for the break-up, because he appears to have moved on and is now romantically involved with Roxy.

A ... B ... K.

Anyone but Kat.

So we're no wiser now about her motives than before.

Then, since Christmas, we've seen the totally bizarre situation of Michael Moon giving relationship advice to Alfie, in the shape of Alfie shouldn't bin Kat, because there'd be a huge hole left in his heart without her there. Just let Kat be Kat. In other words, Alfie loves Kat, and if he loves her so much, he should put up with her regular infidelities and just get on with it.

Yeah, because that's what Michael would do with Janine - you know, the wife to whom he gave positively no support during the time that their premature baby was very ill in hospital, the same wife whose self-esteem and fragile morale he systematically chipped away at with his sneaking, his lies and his duplicity, implying that she was mental, giving her little emotional or psychological support during during a period where she was still very hormonal; his wife, who had lost her stepmother earlier, her grandmother the year before and whose brother was ordered from Walford to the point that she now was emotionally isolated in the throes of post-partum depression.

Yes, Michael would have been so understanding of Kat.

Now we are about to have that contrived circumstance of Kat, whom - Newman stated - needed to be alone for a time to reflect on her situation, moving in and setting up house with Michael Moon, Tommy's birth father, her son and Janine's daughter Scarlett.

All of this in time for Janine's return and for the shit to hit the fan. Yet another Slater robbing Janine, not only of a husband, but also of her daughter. We can expect Kat slanging ugly innuendo Janine's way in that loud, vile-as-vinegar voice of hers, reinforcing the myth of "Evil Janine." We may even be treated to another public slapfest as Kat, freed from the constraints of pregnancy, teaches a lesson to Janine with the beating of her life.

Newman's promised us sensationalism in Janine's return.

And throughout all of this, we'll see Alfie feel guilty for the way Kat's behaving and begin to believe all of this, including Shaggerman, was his fault. Until he takes the slut back again as his wife, probably pregnant a second time by his rancid-eating cousin, and just in time for their tenth wedding anniversary next Christmas.

Really. Newman should stop insulting our intelligence and remember who pays  her inflated salary.


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