Friday, January 4, 2013

Vice Is Nice But Incest ... Eeeuuuuww

Maybe Lorraine should look where she doesn't want to do so ... like what the more perspicacious viewers are saying about the Joey and Lauren poor man's Romeo-and-Juliet fiasco on Digital Spy.

First of all, this isn't a love affair, and the commentator Get Den Watts perfectly nails Lorraine Newman's motives behind her shipping of this couple, whom she, herself, gushingly describes as "just too beautiful."

If Joey and Lauren weren't young and considered to be 'fit' this storyline wouldn't have seen the light of day and you wouldn't have people trying to defend it. It's cheap titillation between two people who barely said a word to each other and are suddenly in love. If EE really wanted to tell a serious story about incest, then they would have Lauren fall pregnant and tackle the potential of a deformed baby but they don't.
Too true. And he's not the only person to think thus. Broken Arrow:-

 Agreed. If this story was about Phil and Roxy there would be revulsion. They barely knew each other when Roxy joined the cast but you can rest assured no one would have supported a ''Phoxy'' coupling.
Now, one perky presence on the forum ...

 pipes up with the rejoinder that Phil actually screwed his "Auntie" Glenda. Oh, my godfathers! Such a relevant little participant!

Glenda Mitchell was no blood relation to Phil Mitchell. She was the much younger wife of his uncle, and only four years older than Phil, himself. She was not his father's sister, which would have been immensely wrong. Someone else points out that Lola and Ben are cousins. They are, indeed.  They are, in fact third cousins, once removed - the same degree of kinship shared by Matthew and Mary Crawley in Downton Abbey.

But first cousins copulating is a degree of consaguinity that is more than a bit sickening, and it's proving relevant in Britain today. In the North of the UK, there's a lot of medical concerns among the Asian community, as a lot of them have arranged marriages between first cousins, and - as a result - are seeing more and more birth defects emanating from these marital unions.

It's bad enough that any child Lauren and Joey had would have a mouth that gaped open incessantly, a propensity to gurn inexplicably and be plagued with an uncorrectable, incoherent speech impediment, there might be other genetic hindrances as well.

Actually, the commentator Keeki, always reliable for a sensible perspective, states it best:-

Me too. The idea of a young Don Juan (played by a model) deciding that an unlikeable, self absorbed female with issues is the Bella to his Edward already proved a failure with Twitney. Unfortunately the creative team at EE learned nothing from the Twitney disaster and trotted out the same formula with Joey and Lauren complete with cheesy romantic gestures. I bet that in ten year's time another young playboy struts into the square and falls madly in love with Tiffany. Max's passive acceptance of his daughter sleeping with his brother's son is bizarre. It was silly to bother making them cousins if the only close relative who had an issue with it died shortly after the relationship was discovered.

Bang on ... pun intended.

The show is missing a sympathetic but sexy young couple for whom the viewers should be rooting. And another thing, Lauren and Joey might be easy on the eye to Ms Newman's view, but Lauren's looks have been cosmetically enhanced since coming on the show in 2010. The collagen implant on the upper lip and the boob job are both greatly in evidence, as is the propensity to pattern her dress and fashion sense on the Katniss character played by Jennifer Lawrence in The Hunger Games.

And sorry, Joey is nothing like Nigel Harman in either looks or manner. How can anyone be considered attractive with his mouth hanging open all the time.

Twitney failed miserably, due to the lack of talent on the part of Tony Discipline and the unlikeability of the character Shona McGarty played. We have the same situation here. Lauren has got to be, arguably, the most unpleasant, pejorative and negative young character ever in the history of the programme. She is entitled, spoiled and decidedly unsympathetic. The attraction on Joey's part must purely be physical, which doesn't say much for his intelligence, because only a dolt, cousin or not, would want to entangle himself with someone as self-obsessed and shallow as Lauren. Her attitude toward his father's death, alone, should be enough to turn him off any attraction felt for her. 

Quite often when a person is beautiful on the inside, one finds them atrociously ugly in character. In that respect, Lauren takes after her putrid mother.

Update: For anyone wondering why the apparently intransigent Executive Producer of EastEnders is foisting yet another unpleasant latent adolescent couple upon us like this, it's simply because she's decided that her target group is the lowest common denominator of adolescent and braindead equivalent. The rest of us will have to suffer her obsession.

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