Sunday, November 18, 2012

Everything But the Kitchen Sink

OK, here's what's on the cards for an EastEnders' Christmas:-

  • Max and Tanya's maybe wedding. Again.
  • The revelation of Max's secret.
  • The revelation of Shaggerman's identity (as if we didn't know).
  • Derek's death.
If it seems like you've waited for hours for a Number 10 bus and then three (or four) come along in an instant, I think that's what EastEnders is trying to do.

But think about it. Too much of something cheapens it, deadens the senses and desensitizes the viewer to whatever emotional reaction the show is trying to achieve.

We've spent the better part of a year being fed an incessantly bad diet of filler episodes, enacted by characters in whom, for the most part, we've been unable to invest emotionally, portrayed by bad and/or very inexperienced actors. We've seen no less than three iconic female characters, one from each decade in the show's existence, systematically damanged (Bianca), cheapened (Sharon) or destroyed (Kat).

The current production team aims for the lowest common denominator, because it's from that intellectual demographic that they receive all their praise. These people will love EastEnders no matter what. They will praise it relentlessly, no matter what abject shit they dish up and serve to the licence fee-payer, not even realising that they are inevitably lowering their own standards whilst making excuses for a show that's in freefall.

All of a sudden 5 million bums on seats isn't so bad. Seven million is the norm (not), and just like Mr Micawber, they are certain that something will turn up.

In this case, it's the producers trying to make up a year of shit in the period between Christmas Eve and New Year;'s Day, by throwing every possible cliched storyline at us, resolved, at once. An affair revealed, forbidden love between teenaged relatives, a secret and someone's killed (yet another whodunnit?). Only this time, I think the audience have been overkilled by incompetence, bad acting and general boredom.

Except, the show's cheerleader-in-chief, dan2008:-

Classic EastEnders!!!

This xmas is going to be one of the best I reckon
It seems like they are pulling out EVERY stop which is good.

I was reading how they compare some of the scenes to 'You Aint My Muva' which if True is going to be unmissable Drama.....All ending with a Tragic Death of Derek Branning

Personally, apart from the pathetic dan2008, no one gives a rat's ass about who Kat's shagger was. We know that Alfie will probably think it's Max (who's got problems enough of his own) or Jack (who's pining after Sharon), but we all know that it's Derek. 

Derek is not only the new Ben, who's responsible for everything, think about this: whenever an affair is revealed, someone involved has to leave the Square. Since we know that Newman is intent on repairing Kat, and we know that there's (at the moment) a future for Alfie with Roxy (until next Christmas when he reconciles with Kat), we also know who's leaving. Derek.

This bears no comparison to "You're Not Mah Muvvah" and it's an insult even to suggest it. TPTB are simply appealing to theh dumbass element of viewer and shipper, with the obvious idiot above being top of the list.

We'll see how the viewing figures go. Anything less than ten million and someone's sweet ass will be on the line.

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