Thursday, November 29, 2012

Phjl and Shirley Are Not Rocket Science

That is to say, they don't or didn't enjoy a complex relationship. I know Moaning Lisa has a favourite meme of Phirley being "complex" or "complicated," but those are words she uses not only to inexplicably justify Phil and Shirley, but also to make her sound like a big thinker, when - in reality - she's much more a small, annoying troll.

In point of fact, Phil and Shirley couldn't be more of a couple of convenience if they tried.

Yes, Phil always thought of Shirley as a mate. She was a person with "lady bits" who dressed and acted as tough as a man. She wasn't remotely attractive. She wasn't maternal. She wasn't feminine. 

If Moaning Lisa would care to remember, Kevin Wicks was the love of Shirley's life. Who can forget Shirley drunkenly wailing after Kevin's death that she "loved him first and loved him the best?"

When Phil coupled with Shirley, he was doing so, ironically, for Ben's sake. After the Stella fiasco, he was putting Ben's interests first; and when Ben bonded early with Shirley, this intrigued Phil, on whom Shirl had a massive crush at the time. Be that as it may, Phil had to get drunk first before he could even sleep with Shirley. Shirley realised this, and determined that if that were the only way Phil would sleep with her, she'd keep him drunk and drink with him.

So from Phil's end, Shirley provided him with someone whom his son liked, who would care for him, as well as a friends with benefits in the sex department for Phil.

But what about Shirley?

Yes, she loved Phil, but not only for any notion of romantic love. Phil was a well-known, affluent and powerful man in the local community. People feared him. He owned the pub where they drank, the garage where their cars were mended, the club where they played and the cafe where they ate. His position in the community was conferred onto Shirley by sexual injection. All of a sudden, via Phil, Shirley was someone who mattered. She was respected (she thought), she was feared (she believed). She had the right to demand service of people simply by reminding them who she was. She was, in her own mind, "she who must be obeyed."

All it took to legitimise this was a marriage offer from Phil, which would come with the ensuing promise of fidelity, and Phil couldn't offer that. On the day he was to marry Shirley, he couldn't ever promise her fidelity after having been caught in the act ith Glenda because (his words) that's the way he was.

Marriage to Phil, or at the very least, Phil's heartfelt declaration of love for Shirley would not only have validated her self-esteem, it would have established her position within the Walford hierarchy.

So Phil neither respected Shirley nor really loved her. She was a convenience. Sex on tap. The mother figure for his son. Oh, he was grateful to her, and he was fond of her; but he didn't love her. In choosing to hide Ben's crime of killing Heather from the authorities and from Shirley, he betrayed her in a far worse way than he ever did when he was unfaithful romantically. The worst thing Phil feared was Shirley finding out that Ben had killed Heather - even worse, that he was part and parcel to the deception, himself. With one fell swoop, Shirley could put Ben away for years - and Phil as well.

In the end, she was the instrument of Ben's incarceration, but not of her own volition. She had to be shamed into revealing her knowledge by the police, and her confession was only half-assed. She cleverly neglected to admit to the authorities Phil's part in the cover-up. Instead, she sought to guilt-trip and blackmail him into remaining connected to her in a perverse way, because, I guess, she thought that having Phil on those terms was better than not having him at all - just the  way she thought that if having Phil drunk were the only way to have him, she'd settle for that. But this way, Shirley would have the upper hand, and Shirley would have the power in that relationship.

By assuming that, Shirley's proven that she really doesn't know Phil at all. So much for love.

So Shirley's back next week, and it would seem that all her pent-up revenge which she expressed for Heather is for nought; because all she's intent on doing now is denying Phil any association he might have or hope to have with Sharon.

Because the bedrock of Shirley's insecurity, whilst with Phil, is knowing that the only woman Phil ever truly loved and loves is Sharon - and she's returned.

For Phil, Shirley was a convenience that was easily discarded when her purpose had been served; for Shirley, Phil was a means to an end and justification that she should be respected.

No love there, and certainly no complex psycho-emotional attachment. 

Move on.


  1. Did you see her latest nonsense talking on the "Is anybody not looking forward to Shirley returning thread"? She talks nonsense and ignores all the people that have talking sense to her. She lives in her own strange world and then goes to twitter and insults the people who are obviously speaking more sense than she ever has.

  2. It probably is complex to Moaning because she is incredibly stupid and has never been kissed, let alone had a relationship.

    She lives through these characters because in real life nobody would fancy her and because of that she has no idea about how romantic relationships work. I should feel sorry for the troll knowing she will never know what a sexual relationship entails but because she is a aggressive freak I do not. The threats she has made to some people are illegal and extreme.

    Even the few left who talk to her, privately admit they know she is crazy. They just put up with her so they do not have to endure her crap. Her crush on Linda Henry is that of a stalker and really scary. Bit like her face.