Thursday, December 13, 2012

Thanking Digital Spy Very Kindly

Many thanks to the hate thread directed my way on Digital Spy. Has it annoyed me? Well, the only thing that has, actually, is the misguided assumption from dublintvfan asserting that I'm a Republican who watches Fox News. Really, my child, you need (a) to get out more and (b) to learn to read for comprehension. By the way, your spelling could be improved as well, as could priscilla's.

If dublintvfan went to all the trouble to look at my Facebook page, he obviously didn't read any of the postings. If he had, he would have ascertained that I'm the furthest thing from a Republican. However, he didn't mean to do that. He just meant to assume.

If I've got information about various sheeple on Digital Spy, it's because you've left a trail, and if I'm harsh and hurt your feelings, grow the fuck up. I know the nature of fora and the creatures they spawn, a lot of whom aren't nice and - due to various circumstances in their own lives - use the fora to bully and intimidate people, probably because they are either bullied, intimidated or ignored in their real life.

I was amused to see many of the usual suspects rounding on me who participated in the cruelest of cyber-bullying during the weekend, targeting a forum member with autism. Two of these people, admittedly, pulled back on their OTT remarks, when they realised that another forum member was reporting two of the more vociferous ringleaders. They thought they might get a ban. One of these people is someone who's planning his imminent marriage. I have the highest hopes of the tolerance in which he'll raise any future children, considering he's behaving at the moment very much like a child, himself.

In the past, I've had people from other fora find my address and publish it, find my children's names and the names of their schools and threaten to show up outside. I've had very personal information published on other fora about myself with the ubiquitous personal remark added. Those people have been dealt with. What information I've revealed has been nothing more than the sheeple have revealed about themselves. And for the record, most of the comments deleted on this blog have been those issuing personal threats, which is, by any stretch of the imagination, against the law.

I've not been the only person who's also been threatened directly by the person who calls herself monalisa. I have no qualms about responding to her in kind, albeit without the threats, because she gives as good as she gets. I also have no qualms about calling out someone who purports to be a middle-aged businesswoman, using a soaps forum to, however inadvertantly, condone vandalism and promote the idea that it's ok for a woman to be unfaithful in a relationship because it's cool in a misguided attempt to be relevant.

Another commenter has been called out because she plagiarised the intellectual content, sometimes word for word, of this blog. If anyone does that in an academic venue, they are discredited.

I just want to thank you all for the added publicity you've given this blog. That's a fair bit of money raised here during the Christmas season. I also want to point out that, although what you did in your witch hunt of the autistic forum member last weekend was far lower than any criticism of me, the hate thread dublintvfan initiated was just as childish and very cowardly. Keeki is to be credited with the intelligence and foresight to recommend you come onto the blog and defend any criticism. You're more than welcome, but if you show you're abusive without any element of critical thinking, your comment may not be published. Kudos also to Filiman. We did often disagree, but there's a way to do that, and he saw clearly the motive behind this blog.

Also, it's certainly a sad state of affairs and a condemnation of the British education system when people not only are unable to think critically, they're also unable to recognise satire or irony. For those of you hankering after a career in the media, without that ability, you won't go far.

And, finally, regarding my contretemps with Shane Richie, he came out the worse for wear on that as he showed himself to be petty, thin-skinned and distinctly unintelligent. You do yourself a disservice in your elevation of people like Richie. Richie spent the six years he was absent from EastEnders banging the young girl who was president of his fan club, starting their affair in the upstairs spare bedroom of her parents' home, unbeknownst to them, and flinging hundred pound notes at her after every sex session. He dropped her like the proverbial hot potato once he'd been asked to return to EastEnders, fearful that his wife would find out and that the tabloids would as well. Anyone worshipping at that altar seriously needs to examine their own moral compass, if they think what I do is bad.

Oh, and dublintvfan, you come from a breed of beautiful, poetic Celtic people. You give them a bad name. Try worrying or trying to understand the economic conundrum your country faces and how it impedes upon the European Union and when you're able to understand that, you may find you're able to think critically.

And, Hankshaw, I'm anything but reeling. In fact, I'm laughing in disbelief at the puerility of the thread, not to mention the semi-literacy of some posters. Really, eight year-olds are more mature and articulate.

29 comments:

  1. Well, as you appear to read them as well as your anonymous friend, it would appear that you're rather childish too. In point of fact, your comment reeks of immaturity and a singular incapability of thinking critically.

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  2. I didn't get involved in the DS thread but with respect you spoil some good points on this blog by expressing them as equally inappropriately as those you seek to criticise.

    Apologies for cutting & pasting a few bits, and apologies for writing so much I need to do this in two parts:

    "...if I'm harsh & hurt your feelings, grow the fuck up..."

    What sort of attitude is that? The American guy I work with says Americans are more cultured re swearing.

    What if under 18s with more polite language read your blog? What are you saying to them? That it's ok to use the work 'fuck' willy-nilly when it adds nothing to the point?

    The students/offenders I teach are the 'failures' of the education system, from chaotic, dysfunctional homes, so they use crude expressions because of their backgrounds. What's your excuse? I won't accept them swearing because it's not needed to make a point. It's not clever.

    ..."use fora to bully & intimidate people..."

    But what about us normal people who use fora to enhance their enjoyment of a TV show? 95% of the people I interact with on DS aren't bullies! Most threads are a delight. EE is the exception - some people hijack threads for their own ends - but I have choices: I can ignore or I can react. Mostly I ignore. Rarely do I react, but when I do I hope it's with reasoned argument, not insults.

    Criticising bullying whilst being a bully is hypocritical. It's no excuse to say "I'm only responding in kind" or "so-and-so has done worse to me" as justification. An eye for an eye excuses nothing.

    cont...

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  3. Thank you for your thoughtful response, and I mean that most sincerely. Regarding swearing, your American friend is right, but I have lived in this country more years than I have lived in mind, and the British use of swear words leaves a lot to be desired. That said, it's a habit I've acquired, ruefully, mostly due to the stressful environment and the nature of the job I do. Point taken.

    I would concur that the majority of people who use fora for the purpose which you explain, but there are those who do not. There is one person in particular on that forum who has directly targeted me in the past, who has threatened me directly and who has also threatened several other posters directly. That is an offense, not only personal, it's also against the law. This person is clever, and never does this on Digital Spy - only in PMs and on Twitter, so she cannot be banned.

    I may have been brusque when I posted on the forum, but I was never rude, yet on this forum and another on two occasions I was told by a poster to ... "shut the fuck up" and not in the abbreviated fashion. The person who said that still posts today. Even after complaints were raised. I have been personally humiliated and insulted when I posted and never responded in kind. I know the people who did that as well. THEY still post.

    Should I respond in kind? Maybe not, but yes, I want them to feel what I felt. Still, it enhances their egos or else they wouldn't read.

    As for the bullying charge, bullies act in groups. I stand alone. I point out behaviour wanting in people who accept lazy writing, poor research and fantasy dressed up in a soap whose basis was always gritty reality - and all this is done on the public's tick, which is shameful.

    Regrettably, the second half or your post seems to have gone. If you'll repost, I'll respond.

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    1. While your points are based on sound reasoning and I can see why you may reach some of your arguments, the point remains that personal attacks are not right. You don't know these people and I understand that you may feel annoyed as a result- or not as the case may be- but it is truly well deserved, I'm afraid. I'm a big believer in 'treat others the way that you would like to be treated' so act like the grown woman you claim to be and ignore it or act like the child you accused another FM to be and heartlessly attack individual strangers.

      I really think it's a shame- as I've said, you make very good points and I do like to read your arguments. What I HATE is the personal attacks. Funny- when you mentioned that you feel sorry for another FM who could have kids and worried what they will be like, I immediately thought of your children and how they have been raised by such a person who offends all and sundry.

      I understand that you want the FM's to feel how you felt- but maybe they were making YOU feel how THEY feel?

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    2. Actually, and you would be aware of this, the point I made about the future children of that poster was in conjunction with the behaviour which occurred this past weekend in the thread about Mormon Girl. I believe you took part in that discussion - in fact, I remember you trying to steer the discussion back to the original subject point. That particular commentator joined in the fray with the two who were subsequently rendered inactive as well as another commentator; but the moment a regular forum member intervened and it became apparent that someone was going to contact the moderator, he and his buddy walked back their statements and then deleted them, before the mods deleted the rest.

      My children, thank you very much, have turned out nicely. The eldest is a lawyer in the US, married and expecting her first child in March. The middle child finishes uni in New York in May and will go onto veterinary school, and the youngest is currently in year 11 at the local girls' grammar.

      The people whom I've stringently criticized on DS are people who, when I participated, directly offended me - personally and humiliatingly. One, in particular, - and again I am sure you can surmise who this person is - resorted to abysmal personal messages with blatant personal threats. That's the way she works.

      In response to your last point, that's moot; because they were the ones originally who did it in for me with the worst sort of trolling.

      But thank you for your comments, and for having the courage to list your screen name. Please feel free to comment anytime.

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    3. On the point of Mormon Girl- yes, I did try and steer the topic back to her. However, I'd just like to clarify that I was trying to be as unbiased as possible. Yes, I did point out where she went wrong but I did also point out that her autism was a key factor; effectively, sitting on the fence. As for stopping the discussion, the thought of being banned didn't even occur to me. It was, as you mentioned, the intervention of another FM as I do my hardest to not upset others.

      While I sympathise with you, it is simply best to ignore. personal attacks isn't the answer, most especially when someone doesn't agree with you. Whilst the poster to whom you referred to may have threatened you etc (and let me make it clear that I am not defending that; I only defend what is right), it isn't right to insult those who share opposite views.

      It is a shame- as I said, I do read your arguments and agree with some, yet disagree with others. I don't know your view on Mandy but theoretically, let's say you disliked her and because I'm a huge fan, would that mean i'd be attacked?

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    4. You WERE totally unbiased in that fracas on Saturday night. For the longest time, it was you who kept referring back to the original topic, only to be ignored in favour of those who were in favour of castigating Mormon Girl, whom one poster referred to as "that Mormon lunatic." Her autism is very much determinative of her behaviour, and there are many shades of autism and people are affected to varying degrees.

      There were two commenters on that thread, in particular, who joined in the banter with a relish, but it was only after another FM started making comments, that they, and not the two who were subsequently banned, reined in their comments, and - I suspect - deleted them.

      As for Mandy, I was the biggest fan of a Mandy-Ian pairing. I remember Mandy from her first time there, and this time it was like a new character; because when she left before, she was still, essentially, a child. I felt she and Ian could work, because at the core of their existence, they were vulnerable. Both were lonely and afraid of being alone. I miss her.

      If we had disagreed, I wouldn't have attacked you at all, depending on how you presented your arguments for your support of a character. I know someone - and this is hard to fathom, I know - who loves Tyler Moon. He appreciates Tyler is vilified, and, believe you me, he's taken all manner of abuse on fora for his support. I disagree with him, but respect his opinion.

      What I do disdain is the lack of critical thinking, the fact that several people are so willing to accept retconning, when it's so blatant. The remark made about if TPTB wanted Cora to be Sharon's mother, they would just make her that and forget about what was broadcast twenty years ago. This is what's ruining the show at the moment. It used to be the pinnacle of reality in the hardest way. Now it panders to the lowest common denominator who can't remember what happened the day before, much less historically.

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    5. I think its such a shame that she wasn't used to her full potential- I did like how there were signs of maturity and I personally think she could have developed into a matriarch given more time. Agreed also about Ian/Mandy as a pair- vulnerability but I must say that (though she ultimately didn't love him), it could easily have progressed. After all, they cared for each other, but did use each other too.

      Yes, I wasn't a fan of Cora/Sharon either- it would have been huge retconning and destroyed the realism

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    6. Mandy needed more time. More than anything, Lucy sabotaged that relationship. Also, Mandy had pulled herself up by the bootstraps and was used to looking after herself. That's why she got at Ian's weak point when he was on the point of throwing her out after finding out she'd slept with Ricky. Mandy pointed out that Ian was afraid of being alone and implied that she was as well. Then they developed a liveable situation that could have, quirkily, led to love. Mandy was the material girl. Ian kept her happy materially, and she did the sexual honours. Weirder things have happened.

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    7. IanMandy - I hope you read this. I don't think Adam Woodyatt will be the actor quitting EastEnders. He's always said he wanted to be the Ken Barlow of the thing. Also, he's the sort, with his fingers in charity pies and with his photography business, that he can easily take Ian having a backseat from time to time. My guess is the person who will leave will be Linda Henry, as they have effectivley neutralised Shirley. Wallace is going nowhere. Newman is pulling out all the stops to save Alfie and Kat. I only wish it were Jack who was leaving. Or Joey.

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  4. I only read them to see what crap you're saying about people on Digital Spy who are friends and who have done nothing wrong. And saying my comment reeks of immaturity? So does everything you write. I used to agree with a lot of your comments about Eastenders, but it seems anyone who has a different view to you you have to slag off on these posts and insult. Why do it? Fair enough some people on Digital Spy can be complete arseholes at times, but you seem to pick on the nice ones and than say "kudos" and "thanks" to the dickheads.

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  5. I have also been threatened in PM's directed to me from Digital Spy. Nowadays I delete all PM's unread, which is a pity as I had made some good friends there. All spoilt by someone I hadn't even provoked, but who had a slavish devotion to one particular soap character who i happened to criticize.

    I suspect it is not the same forum member who harrassed you, but it was a very unsettling matter, not knowing if this person had REALLY found out where I lived and was capable of carrying out her threats to not only me but my family and kids too.

    I too complained to the forum moderators, but nothing happened and I believe the bully is still an active member, and didn't even attract a ban.

    Perhaps some DS users should examine their own behaviour before jumping on their high horse at perceived slights from your blog? - which I enjoy, by the way.

    Sorry to post as 'Anonymous; but I'd rather not use my name in case it all starts up again

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    1. Thank you. I can assure you that the poster to whom you refer was one of a couple who threatened me.

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    2. I am also a victim of this poster. Lots of us know what she is like and yet she claims to have been bullied. I think when your telling people they should die of cancer, would punch them in the face or die of AIDs there is a serious issue.

      I have never seen you threaten death or physical injury to anyone. Maybe the people defending the dangerous poster might remember that.

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  6. I question your taste in people, but to each his own.

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  7. Please do. I'll have the tea and biscuits ready. Or doughnuts. Coppers always like doughnuts.

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  8. *Puts Devils advocate hat on*

    VD do you think you're being harsh in some of your comments? Do you think that those on DS do have a point about your bullying?

    I'm not saying that they are, but there does seem to be a lot of tit for tat and maybe you could find some common ground or at least explain why you post negatively about them?

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    1. Paul, thank you for your comment; but I don't bully. I never have. Have I been forthright? Yes. And you know I don't suffer fools gladly but you know the circumstance on WW where I was sworn at ON THE FORUM by someone known to both you and me, and that person is still there; and I am not. I am also stalked from forum to forum and have been for four years by a poster who presents herself as a masculine and feminine version of the same person and who succeeded in shutting down a discussion forum - an offshoot of the old WW - which had been in existence for six years.

      Whatever I would ever do to explain why I've called out various people (who relished calling me out and achieved their ends), they'd never recognise their part in the story. Stalemate, I'm afraid. And I do disagree about the bullying. What went on Saturday night re the thread about Mormon Girl was bullying. We'll have to agree to disagree, I'm afraid; but thanks for your input.

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    2. Trust Scrabbler to find the common ground :p

      I do agree however, that everyone has some blame

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    3. I can agree to that. Others might not, however.

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    4. Sorry Emilia it wasn't my attention to fingerpoint you out as being a bully, what I was trying to get across was both you and the DS crew needed to see things from both angles.

      I did try and calm things down over at that thread by asking them to speak to you directly rather than to act mobhandedly as they did.

      The thing with me and WW was that I made my opinion clear what I thought about it and then I drew a line across the whole business and concentrated on my new internet home over at DS. It was a shame that you wasn't able to do the same there but this is a great avenue for you to put your thoughts and opinions about Eastenders which are always a highlight to read.

      While sometimes I could read your blog and could understand why you said things about certain posters I suspect that not everyone could read between the lines and saw what you was getting at. But I also have to admit there were times you made comments about certain members of DS (I don't grace WW with my prescence) and was not sure why you had made derogatory information about them. I am sure no doubt that you had your reasons but as an outsider it did seem to appear that you was bullying for the sake of it which i know was not your intention at all.

      P.S. IanMandy I just have to stick my nose in everywhere :p

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  9. Hello Emilia,

    I've just been reading through the thread on DS (actually it's still going on...and on...and on). First time I've been back on there for quite a while - nothing changes does it? There's something about EE that attracts a "special" kind of fan.

    Anyway, for my 2 euro cent's worth, I'm not a big advocat of personal attacks on forums, but then I know what you've had to put up with over the years as well (at least on one or 2 of the forums that we've frequented at one time or other) so it's quite understandable that you've given some back (and judging by some of the comments that I've seen on this blog it does appear that there are some seriously deranged people on DS). I can well believe some of the PMs you would have received, having also been on the receiving end of a few beauties myself over the years. Mine were from 2 particularly loopy individuals (I say 2 but given that DS was, and presumably still is, full of multiple accountees I'm not sure if they weren't the same person). Funnily enough (thankfully), they both disappeared completely from the forums just before the story broke about the boy who was harassing BBC staff...hmmm, now I wonder why? Oh, but it couldn't have been any of the 2 following me around because they were both "girls"......

    Judging by the 20-something pages and counting dedicated to the personal attack on one individual it does appear that the mods on DS still have a lot to learn. Reminds me of the posse days on WW. Now, whatever happened to them....wonder if any of them are still there....remember the one that became a mod and was hardly seen again afterwards? Ali something or other....

    Anyway, great blog.

    Bob

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    1. Oh, Bob ... c'est vous. Merci beaucoup. Oui, il y a beaucoup des enfants terribles sur ce-site-la', plusieurs sans l'abilite' de penser criticalement.

      Comme le Roi Soleil ha dit: Plus ca change, plus ca reste la meme. Merci beaucoup.

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  10. The Police will not do anything as no laws have been broken. In fact they will probably give you a warning for wasting Police time.

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  11. I see the inmates at Digitalspy are revolting...in more ways than one.

    This blog is the most intelligent and in depth analysis of EastEnders you can find on the internet. It's a joy to read.

    Digitalspy is a childish and immature forum populated in the main by people of low intelligence. Someone had to point out their deficiencies and I applaud Emilia for doing so.

    That MoanerLisa is a raging psychopath stalker. How can anyone defend her? Vald the Impaler has the morals of an alley cat and a chip on her shoulder the size of Albert Square. Catsmeow is the most ignorant uninformed idiot ever to grace the internet. And that's just for starters.

    Thank you Emilia for your blog and fuck you to those who don't appreciate it. If you don't like Emilia's opinions then don't read her blog. Simple as that. Oh and let me point out the recent thread about bullying on Digitalspy. Has it crossed no one's tiny mind that a large group of people singling out Emilia and ridiculing her across a 30 page thread is the purest form of bullying you can find?

    Respect the opinions of Digitalspy hypocrites? I'd sooner respect the opinion of my dog.

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  12. I just love the comment about the bullying of Mormon Girl, because I distinctly remember you calling her Moron Girl.

    You constantly bully and single out people on this blog, and then any negative comments, you refuse to approve.

    Just because some people bullied you, it does not give you permission to bully back. Also, bullies do not always do things in groups. In fact I've come across a few lone ones in my time.

    To be frank, some of the things you have posted on here have been disgusting. I've disagreed with many people on the forum, at times, but never had to resort to personal attacks.

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    1. I will accept criticism, but I will NOT accept lies, which is one you have told about what I called Mormon Girl. I have never made reference to her in the least - in fact, I have gone out of my way not to do so. I never ever engaged with her on either WW or DS because I knew the manifestations of her autism. There is a difference in her disability - in that she does not realise what she is doing, even when she cites herself - and that of Siobhan, who is manipulative and knows exactly what she's doing, singling out people who disagree with her in order to send vicious, threatening PMs or troll and lie about them via her Twitter account.

      To be frank, you are doing exactly what you accuse me of. I suggest you take yourself off someplace and learn the art of thinking critically as well as the art of telling the truth, when you level accusations.

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    2. I apologize about the comment of Mormon Girl, I was sure it was your blog I had read it on, but I must of mistaken myself. Please though, do explain how I have bullied you, or personally attacked you, I would love to know.

      Some of the things I have read on here have been disgusting, just because they have a different opinion, or made a mistake, you think you are justified to patronize and look down on them?

      You also seem to have dodged my point of how, just because someone is not nice to you, it gives you no justification to make nasty comments back. What is this, the school playground?

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