OK, so this week started off in BranningVille, carefully wedging Sharon between where she belongs (supporting Phil at the Vic) and where she's craven (as part of the Branning "fairmly").
Whenever TPTB want the Brannings to pervade every aspect of Walford life, they intrude them on every nook and cranny. A night out for Max and Tanya becomes a couples' night out at the Vic, and all of a sudden, Sharon is Jack's girlfriend? WTF?
Sharon, with any of the Brannings, is forced, false and phony. In every scene she shares with any of them, she comes across as shallow and unlikeable. From the gossipy scene in the Salon, with Tanya doing her nails and both of them sporting TeamBranning ponytails to the unfunny scene in the Vic with Derek's date towering over him, after freezing her face in horror at the prospect of spending an evening in his company to the return of Alfie and Kat, with Alfie making a show of being loved-up with Kat only to have Kat stare in horror at the Brannings on parade. (It's Derek, trust me.)
Not only are we having Brannings thrust down our throats and out our arses, we're also reminded that The Shaggerman Chroicle hasn't finished yet.
Arrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
When the highlight of an episode is the return of Billy Mitchell, you know the soap is in trouble.
I don't know why TPTB are going down the route of coupling Sharon with Jack, because it's so obvious that she's still emotionally involved, to a certain degree, with Phil. That was made patently obvious when shitfucker Joey the Tadpole balked at putting up Phil's Vic advertisement. Sharon forcefully put him in his place.
Some people, like the passive-aggressive bully at Walford Kindergarten Callum, who regularly changes his screen name for some sort of effect, like the Brannings, but they underestimate the fact that Phil Mitchell not only owns the Arches, the R and R and the Vic, he now also is part owner of Max Branning's car lot. Max took the hint when Phil "told" him to show up at the Vic, which proved a laugh at the way Tanya dolled herself up in her ubiquitous "chav-attempts-middle-class-lifestyle" way.
Yes, I do know why TPTB are coupling Sharon with Jack. There are precious few women of Jack's demographic in Walford who aren't related to him. She's a blonde and has a strong connection with the Mitchells. From the shallow end of the viewing perspective (and the younger and more stupid end), pretty Sharon would go very nicely with pretty Jack.
Sharon is there to justify and validate the Brannings, just as Pat's death and David's short return validated them. She is also there, when she forsakes Jack for Phil, to make people feel sorry for poor, pitiful Jack.
Well, I don't feel sorry for poor, pitiful Jack. His character lost relevance when Ronnie left, and now it's time he slung his hook too. The Brannings could do very nicely comprised of Max, Abi and Carol. The rest can go to hell in a handcart.
Another thing ... Derek Branning is 53 years old. He's my generation. Now, I'm not averse to a bit of Sinatra now and then, but if I'm getting ready to go someplace, my background music is Dire Straits, REM, a bit of Robert Palmer, the Rolling Stones, The Beatles or even Kate Bush in a pinch. Derek lives, breathes and acts the man of the 1950s. His musical taste is more akin to Dot or Cora, instead of anyone who came of age in the 1950s. Let him get ready to a bit of Led Zeppelin. Even Yusef ran to their music.
The Brannings even insinuated themselves into Michael's dilemma tonight. WithShona McGarty suspended Whitney away (even though her GNVQ course has started), Michael was forced to ask the lazy, drunken, irresponsible Lauren to babysit Scarlett whilst he ran away to sit in a cafe all day in an attempt to distance himself from his daughter. I'm losing whatever sympathy I ever had for Michael rapidly. Yes, he's a broken person. Yes, he has issues, as much as and even more than Janine did. But let's deal with those issues, instead of highlighting them all the time and in every episode until Charlie Brooks is back on screen next -oh, April or so.
Get the message, EastEnders? Things get old fast. And cliches don't go unnoticed, like Ray's pulling on the heartstrings of the potential investors in his yoof scheme. Oh, and catch the odd bit of Branning racism in the way Joey the Turdpole spoke to Ray, whilst Skeletor sat mutely by his side, Oh well, at least her mouth was shut.
Whenever TPTB want the Brannings to pervade every aspect of Walford life, they intrude them on every nook and cranny. A night out for Max and Tanya becomes a couples' night out at the Vic, and all of a sudden, Sharon is Jack's girlfriend? WTF?
Sharon, with any of the Brannings, is forced, false and phony. In every scene she shares with any of them, she comes across as shallow and unlikeable. From the gossipy scene in the Salon, with Tanya doing her nails and both of them sporting TeamBranning ponytails to the unfunny scene in the Vic with Derek's date towering over him, after freezing her face in horror at the prospect of spending an evening in his company to the return of Alfie and Kat, with Alfie making a show of being loved-up with Kat only to have Kat stare in horror at the Brannings on parade. (It's Derek, trust me.)
Not only are we having Brannings thrust down our throats and out our arses, we're also reminded that The Shaggerman Chroicle hasn't finished yet.
Arrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
When the highlight of an episode is the return of Billy Mitchell, you know the soap is in trouble.
I don't know why TPTB are going down the route of coupling Sharon with Jack, because it's so obvious that she's still emotionally involved, to a certain degree, with Phil. That was made patently obvious when shitfucker Joey the Tadpole balked at putting up Phil's Vic advertisement. Sharon forcefully put him in his place.
Some people, like the passive-aggressive bully at Walford Kindergarten Callum, who regularly changes his screen name for some sort of effect, like the Brannings, but they underestimate the fact that Phil Mitchell not only owns the Arches, the R and R and the Vic, he now also is part owner of Max Branning's car lot. Max took the hint when Phil "told" him to show up at the Vic, which proved a laugh at the way Tanya dolled herself up in her ubiquitous "chav-attempts-middle-class-lifestyle" way.
Yes, I do know why TPTB are coupling Sharon with Jack. There are precious few women of Jack's demographic in Walford who aren't related to him. She's a blonde and has a strong connection with the Mitchells. From the shallow end of the viewing perspective (and the younger and more stupid end), pretty Sharon would go very nicely with pretty Jack.
Sharon is there to justify and validate the Brannings, just as Pat's death and David's short return validated them. She is also there, when she forsakes Jack for Phil, to make people feel sorry for poor, pitiful Jack.
Well, I don't feel sorry for poor, pitiful Jack. His character lost relevance when Ronnie left, and now it's time he slung his hook too. The Brannings could do very nicely comprised of Max, Abi and Carol. The rest can go to hell in a handcart.
Another thing ... Derek Branning is 53 years old. He's my generation. Now, I'm not averse to a bit of Sinatra now and then, but if I'm getting ready to go someplace, my background music is Dire Straits, REM, a bit of Robert Palmer, the Rolling Stones, The Beatles or even Kate Bush in a pinch. Derek lives, breathes and acts the man of the 1950s. His musical taste is more akin to Dot or Cora, instead of anyone who came of age in the 1950s. Let him get ready to a bit of Led Zeppelin. Even Yusef ran to their music.
The Brannings even insinuated themselves into Michael's dilemma tonight. With
Get the message, EastEnders? Things get old fast. And cliches don't go unnoticed, like Ray's pulling on the heartstrings of the potential investors in his yoof scheme. Oh, and catch the odd bit of Branning racism in the way Joey the Turdpole spoke to Ray, whilst Skeletor sat mutely by his side, Oh well, at least her mouth was shut.
Joey Branning
Skanky scene of the night ... when Alfie and Kat returned and an otherwise taciturn pub erupted in cheering. Alfie, I can see their welcome. He's a nice guy and a popular landlord, but Kat, whose face always ever looked like a wet weekend in Brighton? Pull the other one.
TPTB have simply just got to stop forcing unpopular ideas on the viewing public as something we want. The majority of viewers know that Kat has become a ruined character, and we know that the people who created her ruined her. We also know that there is mileage in a Roxy-Alfie relationship, so stop trying to make us like Kat again or Joey or who the hell ever, and give us back the show that you are ruining.
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