Cue music:-
OK, prepare yourselves, folks, for a Branning autumn, complete with the East End's version of star-crossed lovers in first cousins, Joey and Lauren.
As I recall, Joey - a steroid-chewing, mouth-breather who's as much Derek's son as if he'd been shat from his fat arse - has fucked a bag of bones, snogged a mattress and now he's about to move onto a walking upper lip.
His disgusting remark after forcing a snog on dirty Shitney (he snogged her "because he could") was the ultimate height of misogynistic behaviour. Still, deep down, Shitney loved it.
Now he's ripe for a little vice-is-nice-but-incest-is-best action. Is there no depths to which EastEnders will sink? And do we even care about this?
I have watched EastEnders from its beginning, and I can never remember a time when so many of its younger characters have been so dislikeable. Lauren has absolutely no redeeming qualities. She's a spoiled, entitled brat, who's fraudulently used her father's credit card, disclosed his infidelity and, in doing so, broke up her brother's marriage, she's an attempted murderer, a drunk, a drop-out, who does nothing and contributes zilch to the family income, yet expects to be subsidised by her old man and dipshit mother, whilst being treated like an adult. She's rude, snobby and she needs a short, sharp slap.
Joey is a liar, a manipulative misogynist, a bully, a thug, and as lazy as Lauren.
I could care less if they both fell off the White Cliffs of Dover whilst fucking.
Obviously, this storyline has some purpose other than to keep the resident teen population of viewers wetting themselves, and I suspect it has something to do with Derek's departure. It's a pity that it has nothing to do with the departures of the actors who play Joey and Lauren. David Witts, along with Tony Discipline (the "real-life" boyfriend created by the PR department for Jacqueline Jossa) is arguably the worst actor to tread the boards of this soap in its history. Trust me, he makes Liam Bergin look good. At least the viewer could understand Bergin, who managed to keep his mouth shut when he wasn't talking. Witts is a former underwear model hired for his looks and with no acting experience of note.
Jossa is the functionally illiterate daughter of a white-collared criminal, whose head is so far up her arse that she actually believes her own publicity. She doesn't act as much as she gurns.
They are both a disgrace to all the talented youthful actors who have gone before them, and their characters offer nothing to the programme other than to encourage the notion of lazy, dishonest, violent, entitled "yoof" culture that's best forgotten.
As a matter of fact, it might be best if both characters suffer the same end fate as their Shakespearian prototypes, Romeo and Juliet - killed off. One can live in hope.
Cue music ...
OK, prepare yourselves, folks, for a Branning autumn, complete with the East End's version of star-crossed lovers in first cousins, Joey and Lauren.
As I recall, Joey - a steroid-chewing, mouth-breather who's as much Derek's son as if he'd been shat from his fat arse - has fucked a bag of bones, snogged a mattress and now he's about to move onto a walking upper lip.
His disgusting remark after forcing a snog on dirty Shitney (he snogged her "because he could") was the ultimate height of misogynistic behaviour. Still, deep down, Shitney loved it.
Now he's ripe for a little vice-is-nice-but-incest-is-best action. Is there no depths to which EastEnders will sink? And do we even care about this?
I have watched EastEnders from its beginning, and I can never remember a time when so many of its younger characters have been so dislikeable. Lauren has absolutely no redeeming qualities. She's a spoiled, entitled brat, who's fraudulently used her father's credit card, disclosed his infidelity and, in doing so, broke up her brother's marriage, she's an attempted murderer, a drunk, a drop-out, who does nothing and contributes zilch to the family income, yet expects to be subsidised by her old man and dipshit mother, whilst being treated like an adult. She's rude, snobby and she needs a short, sharp slap.
Joey is a liar, a manipulative misogynist, a bully, a thug, and as lazy as Lauren.
I could care less if they both fell off the White Cliffs of Dover whilst fucking.
Obviously, this storyline has some purpose other than to keep the resident teen population of viewers wetting themselves, and I suspect it has something to do with Derek's departure. It's a pity that it has nothing to do with the departures of the actors who play Joey and Lauren. David Witts, along with Tony Discipline (the "real-life" boyfriend created by the PR department for Jacqueline Jossa) is arguably the worst actor to tread the boards of this soap in its history. Trust me, he makes Liam Bergin look good. At least the viewer could understand Bergin, who managed to keep his mouth shut when he wasn't talking. Witts is a former underwear model hired for his looks and with no acting experience of note.
Jossa is the functionally illiterate daughter of a white-collared criminal, whose head is so far up her arse that she actually believes her own publicity. She doesn't act as much as she gurns.
They are both a disgrace to all the talented youthful actors who have gone before them, and their characters offer nothing to the programme other than to encourage the notion of lazy, dishonest, violent, entitled "yoof" culture that's best forgotten.
As a matter of fact, it might be best if both characters suffer the same end fate as their Shakespearian prototypes, Romeo and Juliet - killed off. One can live in hope.
Cue music ...
No comments:
Post a Comment