Sharley Shiron Shite

There's a tiny little scene from Thursday's episode of EastEnders which is causing major ructures with about 6 people on Twitter and one major troublemaker on Digital Spy Soaps forum.

Here's the clip in question, and the questionable bit occurs around the 2:57 mark. Watch and listen carefully. As Fox News says, you decide:-

In a nutshell, Phil and Sharon are having a confrontation because of Phil's request that Sharon pretend to be his fiancee in order to aid in his attempts to gain custody of Lexie, his granddaughter. Sharon refuses, and Phil laments, in a stressed voice, "What do you want me to do, Sharon?"

The conflict on Twitter and DS - really one person making a mountain out of a molehill - is down to the fact that Phil, who often speaks rapidly when he's nervous, stressed or just in a general bullying mode, said Sharon's name very quickly, and some people - well, one in particular - thought he mistakenly called Sharon "Shirley."

He didn't.

Steve McFadden and Letitia Dean are probably the most professional actors in the current bunch of losers fronting EastEnders at the moment. You have to think the production staff have nous too. If McFadden had mistakenly said "Shirley" instead of "Sharon," the director would have called a halt to the filming and the shot would have been re-taken.

But as the late John Belushi would have said, "But nooooOOOOO ..."

At least not as far as the infamous Moaning Lisa is concerned. You see, Moaning Lisa is party to a surreptitious, subtle and secret storyline which sees Phil secretly pining for Shirley. So much does Phil miss Shirley that he cannot get through the day without thinking of her every hour on the hour. He's upset more about Shirley's absence than he is about Ben being in prison. His guilt at betraying Shirley over covering up Ben's part in Heather's death makes him pine for her uncontrollably. So much was Shirley in his thoughts that he referred to Sharon mistakenly as Shirley, and Sharon was just too pig shit thick to comprehend it.

If that isn't enough, Phil will couple with Sharon only because Shirley isn't around to save him from her clutches, and Phil will only shag Sharon because the delectable Shirley isn't on hand to tempt him with her sexy boots. But never fear ... in MoaningLisaLand, Shirley will swoop down on Walford like an avenging angel and rescue Phil from Sharon's clutches. Phil will then dump Sharon, reunite with Shirley, take in Lola and her baby and live happily ever after. Because Shirley's not only the love of Phil's life, she's an icon, you see.

Only ... she isn't. But explaining that to Moaning Lisa is like talking to a brick. So convinced is she that Phil and Shirley's woes are the single greatest love story going on the programme at the moment that she hijacks practically every thread where the name "Phil" or "Sharon" appears. Ne'mind that the thread might be about the boil on Phil's arse or Sharon's latest hairstyle, Mona will make damned certain that the thread descends into a whirlwind of chaos with her imposing her impossible lovelorn theories on the forum and going over the same old same old repeatedly, demanding to know why others can't see how thoroughly besotted Phil is with Shirley.

Any pushback is met, not on the forum, but on Twitter with her referring to anyone disagreeing with her as being "fucking idiots."

When Phil initially rang Sharon for moral support, shortly after Shirley left with Carly - something Phil orchestrated, not for Shirley's own good, but for the fact that her constant threats to grass him up and her general hanging around lapping up any possibility that Phil would tell her he loved her and really, really mean it (when she had then suddenly realised brutally that he didn't give a penny about her) were getting on his nerves - there was a scene where he scrolled down his contact list on his mobile until he found Sharon's number.

The eagle-eyed viewer saw that the name "Shirley" had been deleted from the list. In MonaLand, that scene became "Phil stares longingly at his mobile phone, missing the fact that Shirley's name no longer appears there. He's upset that he deleted it, so he rings Sharon."

(I know. Go figure).

Mona is obsessed with Shirley and Phil getting together forever, even though everyone knows that this isn't going to happen. Steve McFadden, the real star of EastEnders, has said that he wants Sharon and Phil to be a couple and what he says pretty much goes. I have a feeling, anyway, that Dean was brought back in order to re-establish the Mitchells as the core family on the Square and to have her grow into the matriarch role heretofore occupied by Pam St Clements's Pat - St Clement, herself, was only a couple of years older than Dean is now when she began her tenure as Pat.

But the problem here is that Mona is obsessed to the point that she is trolling any and all threads even tangentially about Phil, Sharon or Shirley and many that aren't remotely about any of them. It's got so bad, as one commenter said, that people are hesitant even to mention Shirley's name, because they know that Mona the Flying Monkey will descend upon them with a wrath.

She is a troll, and her trolldom is reinforced by the fact that the contrarian KnowNothing, catsmeow and the matron saint of trolls, vald, regularly defend her inane points.

Mona, Catsmeow and Vald in Coven

But that's not the only thing Mona's infamous for. She sets up faux Twitter accounts, attacking herself, and then points to them as evidence of people bullying her, when she, in fact, is the bully. She revels in getting her so-called enemies banned from various fora, when, in her heinous and many-faceted, albeit cack-handed attempts at cyber bullying, it is she who is actually breaking a law. She's a mean-spirited little bitch, and I applaud the fact that more and more commentators on Digital Spy are calling out her callousness, stupidity and rudeness. I only hope someone reports her one day and one of the dozy moderators on Digital Spy kicks her sorry arse into cyber-oblivion, where she can salivate in the corner and obsess on Shirley regaining Phil's affection someday the twelfth of never.

Check out the Thursday episode thread on Digital Spy for a totally mind-blowing hijacking of a thread and the most revealing case of illogic ever witnessed anyplace. If the Digital Spy mods cannot see what was done by Mona totally disrupting that thread, then they're blind and don't deserve the jobs they have.