So now we know Syed is a whore. He was willing to see, snog and maybe even sleep with Danny on the promise of Danny forking after porking - i.e, subbing him a loan after subbing him.
But Syed chickened out. Maybe he had a stirring of moral conscience, or maybe he was genuinely attracted to Danny and feared taking things a step too far. That means also that Syed is a coward, as well as a liar and a cheat (in a different way). And an embezzler and a fraud.
Do I care? Actually, no.
I lost interest in Syed and Christian long ago, someplace between their initial mistreatment of Amira and Christian deciding that they were ready to adopt/surrogate/whatever a child.
You know, let me be brutally honest ... Tonight's episode ranks among one of the biggest pieces of shit ever put out by the EastEnders' trademark, and it pains me to the quick that this once-wonderful show has sunken to such depths. I still don't trust Lorraine Newman. I don't think she is really in charge. I think she's a figurehead, fronting John Yorke's peevish desire to restore his creation, Kat(shit) to her former glory at all costs and Simon Ashdown's almost perverted obsession with all things Branning and turning the Square into an alternate Branning universe.
Tonight's show, bar one single scene, stank.
For the better part of two years Chryed's appearances have increasingly diminished to the point that, for most of this year, they have been little more than glorified extras. Marc Elliot is quitting, and - because of this - TPTB have sunk John Partridge. At least, they get a storyline at the end, but - my oh my - what a boring, drawn-out and almost unbelieveable storyline.
Zainab the Pure, a Muslim's Muslim, who was the Hyacinth Bouquet of her community, who lived by every word of the Koran, now embraces her son and his boyfriend as if this, for her, is the most natural thing in the world. This is the woman, remember, for whom "keeping up appearances" was a total living philosophy. Surely, she and Mas - a man to whom she isn't married but with whom she lives and seems in no hurry to marry after everything that's transpired - will have been doubly shunned by their religious community.
The shame about this whole escapade (and Sharon's return) is that actors of the calibre of Gary Lucy and Jesse Birdsall are brought in for cameo appearances that are almost insulting in their content, when either or both of these actors would be a permanent credit to EastEnders.
And, I'm sorry, Tamwar isn't funny, even when he is funny. Why are they resurrecting this stand-up career again? To what purpose? I'll tell you when Tamwar was funny - when he had the Rude Masood website. His impressions were absolutely spot on and hilarious. And he bounced off Darren in a good way. Tamwar and Darren worked. Tamwar and "Fattyboy" don't.
For everyone who's wantonly praised the amateur that is Danielle Harold, stop now. As you can see tonight, she was totally rubbish - especially that scene where she was bashing the Moses basket.
A poor man's Stacey Slater. Been there, done that with the destructive temper tantrums. It's so boring and predictable, as Jay and Abi are becoming. Not only is Lola missingher meal ticket Lexi (please, remember when Lola originally found out that she was pregnant, her sole intention in keeping the baby was the benefits she'd accrue from the government), she's also jealous of the fact that Jay and Abi are a couple again, which means Jay can't act as babydaddy to Lexi (until Ben with a new head gets out of prison).
Abi was the pits tonight. Is it me or has she been total rubbish since she returned from her break? Some of the bleach they used on her hair must have been infused into her brain, because Lorna Fitzgerald has been phoning it in since her return. And, really, what did Billy hope to achieve by getting Abi and Jay to come over? Mouthing platitudes about getting the kid back, telling her things would get better and culminating with Abi suggesting they all get fish and chips, stay in and pig out - which is exactly what she did. She was more interested in stuffing her face than helping out her so-called friend, whom she now considers her "family." Just like Tanya, saying the wrong thing.
Actually, however, the one good scene occurred between Billy and Phil, when Billy realised that his only recourse to getting Lola back was to go through Phil at his terms - and his terms, as Billy found out, were that Lexi would live with him, that his brief - Jimmy the Spiv - would apply for a residency order for Phil to have Lexi - although with Phil's record, I'm not at all sure how that would play out with the authorities.
Still, as Phil says, he has the best briefs and the deepest pockets and he wants "what's best" for Lexi. Lola's being royally duped, not only by Phil, but by her "Pops" - and that is a supreme Billy irony. He fails again, but she'll never know until it's too late.
Why do I have a sneaking suspicion that Lola will abscond with Lexi sometime on or about Christmas Day? Hope floats ... a bit like shit.
Speaking of shit, Sharon was just that tonight.
Enough of this Denis shite - which, had he lived and Grant stuck around, would only have resulted in Sharon sleeping with Grant and Grant punching Dennis's pretty lights out. And as much as I hate to say it, not being a fan of that monster child Tiffany Butcher, she's a lot better actress than that Justin Bieber wannabe, the amazing Harry Hickles. Let's remind us of something ...
You know, in the last episode, I actually thought Fauntleroy (I refuse to call him "Denny") sounded more curious than upset at what Derek had divulged; and I found him unconvincing tonight in accusing Sharon of lying to him.
I also found Sharon pretty unconvincing throughout most of tonight's episode, buy oddly, as with Sharon, I find the kid actually likeable and bearable when he's in a scene with Phil. Steve McFadden has always had a way with kids on the show, especially very young children, and Hickles is visibly more at ease with him than he is with Letitia Dean, who - unlike McFadden - isn't a parent. Jake Wood is another one who relates well to young children.
The "Denny" and "baby" references are butt-clinchingly embarrassing. Even a six year-old, at that point, would be telling his mum where to get off with that behaviour. As well, Sharon's spur-of-the-moment decision to run away at the slightest aggravation is totally out of character for her - but I'll tell you of whom it does remind me ... Ronnie.
In fact, I'm wondering how much they infused Ronnie with some of Sharon's characteristics (the penchant for wearing black, the obsession with Jack) and how much they're infusing Sharon with Ronnie's characteristics (the tendancy to run away, the instability).
She was also bloody rude to Kim, referring to the B and B as a dump and even before that, lording it over her. I loved Kim's line the other day when Sharon asked if Denny's eggs were free range: "I laid them myself this morning." I'm glad Kim made her apologise for her rudeness and booked the room to someone else over her head.
Of course, it had to be Saint Jack of the Wooden Genitals who bolstered her courage. Give over with this shit about losing someone and lying about everything, in an obvious pity party reference to Ronnie before offering Sharon a chance to play happy families at his with him and Fautleroy. Jack needs to pay more attention to his own children and stop currying favour with some strange kid just because he wants to get into his mother's knickers. Sharon was right on one thing - Jack sure as hell doesn't know her, after only two months. She's just the latest blonde with a Mitchell connection who isn't related to him and hasn't slept with him.
Sharon's explanation to Fauntleroy of how his father died and who he is was pretty rank as well. Did she tell him that, not only was his old man murdered by a bad man, Daddy was a murderer as well? Did she tell him how Daddy set Phil Mitchell up for a crime he didn't commit? Did she tell Fauntleroy that Daddy worked for a man even badder than Derek Branning - a man called Jonnie Allen who would make Derek shit his pants twice over - and how Daddy used to do things like beat up people like Alfie Moon for Jonnie? Did she even tell Fauntleroy that she and Daddy were brother and sister and that his maternal grandfather and his paternal grandfather were the same person?
Best leave that for when he's older.
The other oddity was Princess Sharon turning down Phil's offer of a place to stay. Was it because she was afraid of her feelings toward him or afraid he'd find out about her addiction? The kid obviously wanted to stay with Phil, and I don't think Phil would have been breathing down Sharon's neck for a grope and a fumble in the Mitchell bed. Phil's genuinely grieving, and I think he could do with the company and moral support of a long-time friend.
And this is another thing that's different and unlikeable about Bryan-Kirkwood's-Kath-Beedles's-Lorraine-Newman's-Simon-Ashdown's Sharon: she uses people. She thought nothing of pleading for Phil's immediate help in getting her son back and ridding herself of her fiance'; but when Phil is in need of genuine help or support, she blows him off - just like Ian's become nothing more than her resident on-the-spot babysitter who stays in with Fauntleroy whilst Sharon parties with the Brannings.
Tonight she initially blew off Jack, who was offering her a place to stay (at a price). The ironic situation was brought to light by Fautleroy, who intimated in his inimitable child-like way that it would be best if they stayed with Uncle Phil, who not only had known Daddy, but who went back a long way with Sharon. Instead, Sharon decides to try the devil she doesn't know, and what do we see?
That godawful husky-voiced, tits-shoved-forward caricature of a drag queen playing sexy, the simpering smile the sloe-eyed look and the coy request that she be allowed to "keep her luggage" at Jack's. How long? Oh, as long as it takes. So the implication is that Sharon will sleep with Jack in order to keep a roof over her head and over her son's head as well, instead of staying with Phil ... or Ian.
So I guess that makes Sharon a whore too. One thing for certain, she'll need those pain-killers, because she'll find the splinters in her woo-woo from Jack's dick mighty painful.
Pisspoor episode. What the hell is going on here?
But Syed chickened out. Maybe he had a stirring of moral conscience, or maybe he was genuinely attracted to Danny and feared taking things a step too far. That means also that Syed is a coward, as well as a liar and a cheat (in a different way). And an embezzler and a fraud.
Do I care? Actually, no.
I lost interest in Syed and Christian long ago, someplace between their initial mistreatment of Amira and Christian deciding that they were ready to adopt/surrogate/whatever a child.
You know, let me be brutally honest ... Tonight's episode ranks among one of the biggest pieces of shit ever put out by the EastEnders' trademark, and it pains me to the quick that this once-wonderful show has sunken to such depths. I still don't trust Lorraine Newman. I don't think she is really in charge. I think she's a figurehead, fronting John Yorke's peevish desire to restore his creation, Kat(shit) to her former glory at all costs and Simon Ashdown's almost perverted obsession with all things Branning and turning the Square into an alternate Branning universe.
Tonight's show, bar one single scene, stank.
For the better part of two years Chryed's appearances have increasingly diminished to the point that, for most of this year, they have been little more than glorified extras. Marc Elliot is quitting, and - because of this - TPTB have sunk John Partridge. At least, they get a storyline at the end, but - my oh my - what a boring, drawn-out and almost unbelieveable storyline.
Zainab the Pure, a Muslim's Muslim, who was the Hyacinth Bouquet of her community, who lived by every word of the Koran, now embraces her son and his boyfriend as if this, for her, is the most natural thing in the world. This is the woman, remember, for whom "keeping up appearances" was a total living philosophy. Surely, she and Mas - a man to whom she isn't married but with whom she lives and seems in no hurry to marry after everything that's transpired - will have been doubly shunned by their religious community.
The shame about this whole escapade (and Sharon's return) is that actors of the calibre of Gary Lucy and Jesse Birdsall are brought in for cameo appearances that are almost insulting in their content, when either or both of these actors would be a permanent credit to EastEnders.
And, I'm sorry, Tamwar isn't funny, even when he is funny. Why are they resurrecting this stand-up career again? To what purpose? I'll tell you when Tamwar was funny - when he had the Rude Masood website. His impressions were absolutely spot on and hilarious. And he bounced off Darren in a good way. Tamwar and Darren worked. Tamwar and "Fattyboy" don't.
For everyone who's wantonly praised the amateur that is Danielle Harold, stop now. As you can see tonight, she was totally rubbish - especially that scene where she was bashing the Moses basket.
A poor man's Stacey Slater. Been there, done that with the destructive temper tantrums. It's so boring and predictable, as Jay and Abi are becoming. Not only is Lola missing
Abi was the pits tonight. Is it me or has she been total rubbish since she returned from her break? Some of the bleach they used on her hair must have been infused into her brain, because Lorna Fitzgerald has been phoning it in since her return. And, really, what did Billy hope to achieve by getting Abi and Jay to come over? Mouthing platitudes about getting the kid back, telling her things would get better and culminating with Abi suggesting they all get fish and chips, stay in and pig out - which is exactly what she did. She was more interested in stuffing her face than helping out her so-called friend, whom she now considers her "family." Just like Tanya, saying the wrong thing.
Actually, however, the one good scene occurred between Billy and Phil, when Billy realised that his only recourse to getting Lola back was to go through Phil at his terms - and his terms, as Billy found out, were that Lexi would live with him, that his brief - Jimmy the Spiv - would apply for a residency order for Phil to have Lexi - although with Phil's record, I'm not at all sure how that would play out with the authorities.
Still, as Phil says, he has the best briefs and the deepest pockets and he wants "what's best" for Lexi. Lola's being royally duped, not only by Phil, but by her "Pops" - and that is a supreme Billy irony. He fails again, but she'll never know until it's too late.
Why do I have a sneaking suspicion that Lola will abscond with Lexi sometime on or about Christmas Day? Hope floats ... a bit like shit.
Speaking of shit, Sharon was just that tonight.
Enough of this Denis shite - which, had he lived and Grant stuck around, would only have resulted in Sharon sleeping with Grant and Grant punching Dennis's pretty lights out. And as much as I hate to say it, not being a fan of that monster child Tiffany Butcher, she's a lot better actress than that Justin Bieber wannabe, the amazing Harry Hickles. Let's remind us of something ...
You know, in the last episode, I actually thought Fauntleroy (I refuse to call him "Denny") sounded more curious than upset at what Derek had divulged; and I found him unconvincing tonight in accusing Sharon of lying to him.
I also found Sharon pretty unconvincing throughout most of tonight's episode, buy oddly, as with Sharon, I find the kid actually likeable and bearable when he's in a scene with Phil. Steve McFadden has always had a way with kids on the show, especially very young children, and Hickles is visibly more at ease with him than he is with Letitia Dean, who - unlike McFadden - isn't a parent. Jake Wood is another one who relates well to young children.
The "Denny" and "baby" references are butt-clinchingly embarrassing. Even a six year-old, at that point, would be telling his mum where to get off with that behaviour. As well, Sharon's spur-of-the-moment decision to run away at the slightest aggravation is totally out of character for her - but I'll tell you of whom it does remind me ... Ronnie.
In fact, I'm wondering how much they infused Ronnie with some of Sharon's characteristics (the penchant for wearing black, the obsession with Jack) and how much they're infusing Sharon with Ronnie's characteristics (the tendancy to run away, the instability).
She was also bloody rude to Kim, referring to the B and B as a dump and even before that, lording it over her. I loved Kim's line the other day when Sharon asked if Denny's eggs were free range: "I laid them myself this morning." I'm glad Kim made her apologise for her rudeness and booked the room to someone else over her head.
Of course, it had to be Saint Jack of the Wooden Genitals who bolstered her courage. Give over with this shit about losing someone and lying about everything, in an obvious pity party reference to Ronnie before offering Sharon a chance to play happy families at his with him and Fautleroy. Jack needs to pay more attention to his own children and stop currying favour with some strange kid just because he wants to get into his mother's knickers. Sharon was right on one thing - Jack sure as hell doesn't know her, after only two months. She's just the latest blonde with a Mitchell connection who isn't related to him and hasn't slept with him.
Sharon's explanation to Fauntleroy of how his father died and who he is was pretty rank as well. Did she tell him that, not only was his old man murdered by a bad man, Daddy was a murderer as well? Did she tell him how Daddy set Phil Mitchell up for a crime he didn't commit? Did she tell Fauntleroy that Daddy worked for a man even badder than Derek Branning - a man called Jonnie Allen who would make Derek shit his pants twice over - and how Daddy used to do things like beat up people like Alfie Moon for Jonnie? Did she even tell Fauntleroy that she and Daddy were brother and sister and that his maternal grandfather and his paternal grandfather were the same person?
Best leave that for when he's older.
The other oddity was Princess Sharon turning down Phil's offer of a place to stay. Was it because she was afraid of her feelings toward him or afraid he'd find out about her addiction? The kid obviously wanted to stay with Phil, and I don't think Phil would have been breathing down Sharon's neck for a grope and a fumble in the Mitchell bed. Phil's genuinely grieving, and I think he could do with the company and moral support of a long-time friend.
And this is another thing that's different and unlikeable about Bryan-Kirkwood's-Kath-Beedles's-Lorraine-Newman's-Simon-Ashdown's Sharon: she uses people. She thought nothing of pleading for Phil's immediate help in getting her son back and ridding herself of her fiance'; but when Phil is in need of genuine help or support, she blows him off - just like Ian's become nothing more than her resident on-the-spot babysitter who stays in with Fauntleroy whilst Sharon parties with the Brannings.
Tonight she initially blew off Jack, who was offering her a place to stay (at a price). The ironic situation was brought to light by Fautleroy, who intimated in his inimitable child-like way that it would be best if they stayed with Uncle Phil, who not only had known Daddy, but who went back a long way with Sharon. Instead, Sharon decides to try the devil she doesn't know, and what do we see?
That godawful husky-voiced, tits-shoved-forward caricature of a drag queen playing sexy, the simpering smile the sloe-eyed look and the coy request that she be allowed to "keep her luggage" at Jack's. How long? Oh, as long as it takes. So the implication is that Sharon will sleep with Jack in order to keep a roof over her head and over her son's head as well, instead of staying with Phil ... or Ian.
So I guess that makes Sharon a whore too. One thing for certain, she'll need those pain-killers, because she'll find the splinters in her woo-woo from Jack's dick mighty painful.
Pisspoor episode. What the hell is going on here?
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