This does not apply to Ian Beale:-
What a difference a dearth of untalented youth makes, although it has to be said the worst of the worst tonight was Poopy-La-Dim.
Tonight was a filler episode, make no mistake; but it was a watchable one, and that was important. Even more important was the fact that established characters took front and centre, people we recognise and care about, and that made a difference as well.
The Help.
Ian Beale's defining feature is his intransigence, his inability to learn from his mistakes. In each of his successive relationships and marriages, he's taken advantage of every romantic partner.
There's a defining point in a Beale relationship where the partner becomes the skivvy - Cindy being run ragged in the cafe and catering business, whilst trying to look after three kids, Mel being paraded as the trophy bride.
The worm that turned was Laura, who saved his bacon when he was made bankrupt and had to act as his de facto boss for awhile in the chippy, which she bought for him, using an inheritance. In the end, Ian couldn't stand that relationship and betrayed her.
Jane was the latest Mrs Beale to suffer this treatment, but she was different in that, once Ian caught her in infidelity (with Grant Mitchell), he "forgave" her and took her back. But he never forgot, resulting in Jane's relationship with Ian being based on guilt and financial security. Ian never let Jane forget that she was working in his businesses, living in his house, and looking after his kids.
Jane was cheap labour, but Denise is the help.
Denise's relationship with Ian, in this respect, takes on a new perspective, because Denise is Afro-Caribbean. There's a social and racial history of people of Denise's ethnicity being hired as the help, here and elsewhere. When the Windrush West Indians came to post-war Britain, they came to do the jobs white people deemed too menial.
I took umbrage the other week when Denise groused about giving Bobby his tea. To me, that was unreasonable for anyone involved in a relationship where the other half comes with an underaged child. Bobby was part of the package, and if Denise is serious about Ian, then she should expect to partner in the parenting and care of Ian's small children, in this case Bobby.
However, there's something different about expecting your partner to drop everything - and in Denise's case, this means a full-time job as manager of The Minute Mart, as well as helping out in her sister's business - in order to cook and serve canapes at a function for which you get no financial remuneration and little thanks. Granted, Ian tried to find help, but consider this: He knew exactly when this Grand Opening was occurring. Why didn't he simply ring an agency and get temporary catering staff to do the honours. Denise may not have minded just cooking the food, as she indicated to Kim tonight.
But wait ... Ian can't hire agency staff, because Ian has no money. He owns a cafe, which is filled to bursting daily, he owns a restaurant, he owns a chippie, and he has no money. How much, exactly, does he pay Carl weekly? We saw him empty the cash register at the cafe, after muttering to Carl that he needed that money to pay his staff.
Really, Ian? You pay your cafe staff cash-in-hand? Gee, I'd love to be your accountant and look at your books.
So Ian has all these businesses, and he's existing by the skin of his teeth because of Carl, to the point that he has to bully Jean into helping him. I know TPTB really really wanted us to laugh at Ian's inability to relieve Denise, to the point of desperation that he enlists a ten year-old to help Denise clean up.
I've said before that I wasn't keen on the Denise-Ian partnership, but that was because of the way in which she patronised him, talking about him in his presence in the third person, believing unreliable people's accusations of him and urging him to be lenient with someone who'd willfully committed criminal damage against his business, telling Ian that if he went to the police, he'd be a bad man.
But there's no denying Denise occupies a different position from that occupied by Jane. Jane gave up everything to live with Ian - she apparently gave up the marital home she shared with David and her own catering business to devote herself to Ian's needs and aspirations. But Denise had a life before Ian, and she'll have one afterward. This is a woman who's survived one abusive husband and another psychopathic one. She's nothing, if not strong, and returning from a hard day's graft with no remuneration of any sort to picture Ian sat on the couch playing a video game was a bridge too far for Denise.
She's finished. Or so she says.
But this wasn't a domestic romcom drama; this was the beginning of Ian's sinister involvement with Carl, which will play out in September.
They Should Have Known Better.
Nothing better than watching Kat and Bianca get their asses handed to them because of their massive mouths.
This Bianca is truly retarded. A fourteen year-old wouldn't even act this way when presented with a double-date, jealous that the friend of the date she'd made and known turned out to be fitter than her date, stamping her feet and demanding that she and Kat "trade dates," because Bianca got Kat the date so she should have first dibs on choosing the man.
Go figure. This is the stuff of childhood, and I'll tell you, the bearded guy wasn't even that fit. He looked like a gorilla. The only thing worse was the scene of Kat overtly flirting with the pair of them brought back memories of those gross scenes in the Vic last summer when we were regaled with the morons' chorus of "We Love You, Kat Moon".
Most men these days, including the IT geek, would be barfing with a spoon at the obvious and overt way in which Kat was spooning up the two blokes in question.
And how stupid was Bianca to mouth off about the situation when the two men were within earshot.
Line of the night:-
Bianca: 'Is name is Colin. What kinder fit man is named Colin?
Kat: Colin Farrell. Colin Firth.
Kudos for the gorilla-guy to upend their conversation by ticking them off for dissing his mate. No, I've changed my mind, gorilla-guy had the real last word:-
You two need to learn some respect.
Ass. meet Kat and Bianca.
The irony of this entire situation was that the flirting incident was done by Kat because of Alfie and Roxy's situation. She's half-heartedly trying to move on, but she wants to incite a jealous reaction from Alfie.
How long, O Lord?
Poopy-La-Putain.
If you ever needed proof that Poopy was a snide little bitch, tonight you got it. Poppy demands openness and honesty from Fatboy, so she should voice her concerns and her suspicions to him, about the message she read on his phone, especially as it worried her so much.
She's never not been so forward before, so what's bothering her now? The fear of rejection? From Fatboy?
So there's a competition at the new Salon - Beauty not the common-and-garden overt sexual innuendo Booty - with the employee with the most sales getting a bonus, the two obvious candidates (of course) being the honed and mahoganied Lola and Poopy-La-Putain. Lola's saving for a holiday; Poopy's saving for the deposit on a flat.
I must admit, I thought Poopy telling Lola that the discount was 35% was just Poopy being dumb, but Poopy's also sneaky, and she saw Lola was getting a fair share of clientele, she effected it so Lola would lose the salon some profit.
I actually felt sorry for Lola, who correctly told Sadie that Poopy misinformed her, but Poopy is not only a passive-aggressive bully, she's a liar as well. She's arrogant, she's ageist, she jumps to conclusions, she doesn't listen to people, and she manipulates. She was well out of order, planning Tamwar's and Alices dinner without first asking Dot's permission, as it was Dot's house and Dot's kitchen she was using. She never thinks, and I hope when she finds out Fatboy was innocent of everything of which she accuses him, that he dumps her and that she leaves the Square. There's only so much self-obsessed wittering I can take.
All the fanbois calling for her family to come live on the Square need to be taken out and slapped.
Dot and The Psychopath.
Stop defending Michael Moon. Stop it right now. Yes, he's playing mind games, and so is Janine,and I'm disappointed in her doing that; but I understand her motives far better than I understand his.
She was manipulated before by him, with his end view being to chip away so much at her self-esteem that he got control of her fortune and her life. This battle of wits isn't about Scarlett anymore, it's about control.
What Michael did to Dot, initially, was despicable. It ranks on the maneouvres he tried on Jean last summer, the difference being that Dot could go right to the source of Michael's accusations and prove him a liar. This is where Michael comes unstuck.
So determined was he to blacken Janine's name and put a stop to the purchase of the club, that he openly lied to Dot about her stepson's disrespect of Jim, his father and her husband. Did he really think Dot wouldn't ask Jack for his version of the story? Because it's obvious that Michael was making stuff up as he went along here. Ah, the stuff of psychopaths.
I'm glad Jack put Dot straight, and also that he told her that Jim would be proud that Jack was selling the boxing club and going into a family business with Max.
What's pissed Michael off now, and one of the best scenes I've seen with Scott Maslen, was when Jack told Michael to his face that his manipulations wouldn't work with him. This wasn't about business, this was about family.
Couple that with Dot telling Michael a few home truths.
You ain't gonna like what I'm gonna say ter ya, but I'm gonna say it anyway.
I'm not the biggest Dot fan, but I bloody love her when she's in this mode - upbraiding Michael for making this all about himself and forgetting Scarlett in the bargain.
Janine ain't so bad, being she's the mother of your child.
Another brutal home truth, and if only Dot and other people knew how badly Michael treated her last year, when she was hormonal and suffering from PND.
Also, I don't trust Danny as far as I can throw a stick, considering his reaction to Michael's presenting Janine with the "books" and a laptop with his business plan. I'd feel better if she had someone watching her back, someone as slippery and sneaky and dodgy a businessman as those two - her half-brother, David Wicks can't come home soon enough.
And here's a continuity question: Alice was swanning about on Tamwar's arm all day, Janine was gallivanting about after Michael with the boxing club's books, and MIchael was out and about as well.
Who was watching Scarlett?
General Observations:
I love how Carl, in such an episode, is almost a background character, emerging from the woodwork long enough to converse civilly with Krusty, touching Ian to remind him of his debt or to try to make amends with Max. The public offer of apology will be important in a month's time or so. Remember the fact that Max, in a crowded pub, refused to shake hands with Carl.
Jean. Go. Just go now. Go with Ollie. Go open a gardening shop someplace. This missing vegetable malarkey is all about the Big Mo guest appearance, complete with camouflage outfit. And pairing Jean in a scene with Dot just serves to show one important thing: Jean will never, in a million years, approach the icon that is Dot Branning, and I say that as someone who is not a fan of Dot's.
Watchable episode.
What a difference a dearth of untalented youth makes, although it has to be said the worst of the worst tonight was Poopy-La-Dim.
Tonight was a filler episode, make no mistake; but it was a watchable one, and that was important. Even more important was the fact that established characters took front and centre, people we recognise and care about, and that made a difference as well.
The Help.
There's a defining point in a Beale relationship where the partner becomes the skivvy - Cindy being run ragged in the cafe and catering business, whilst trying to look after three kids, Mel being paraded as the trophy bride.
The worm that turned was Laura, who saved his bacon when he was made bankrupt and had to act as his de facto boss for awhile in the chippy, which she bought for him, using an inheritance. In the end, Ian couldn't stand that relationship and betrayed her.
Jane was the latest Mrs Beale to suffer this treatment, but she was different in that, once Ian caught her in infidelity (with Grant Mitchell), he "forgave" her and took her back. But he never forgot, resulting in Jane's relationship with Ian being based on guilt and financial security. Ian never let Jane forget that she was working in his businesses, living in his house, and looking after his kids.
Jane was cheap labour, but Denise is the help.
Denise's relationship with Ian, in this respect, takes on a new perspective, because Denise is Afro-Caribbean. There's a social and racial history of people of Denise's ethnicity being hired as the help, here and elsewhere. When the Windrush West Indians came to post-war Britain, they came to do the jobs white people deemed too menial.
I took umbrage the other week when Denise groused about giving Bobby his tea. To me, that was unreasonable for anyone involved in a relationship where the other half comes with an underaged child. Bobby was part of the package, and if Denise is serious about Ian, then she should expect to partner in the parenting and care of Ian's small children, in this case Bobby.
However, there's something different about expecting your partner to drop everything - and in Denise's case, this means a full-time job as manager of The Minute Mart, as well as helping out in her sister's business - in order to cook and serve canapes at a function for which you get no financial remuneration and little thanks. Granted, Ian tried to find help, but consider this: He knew exactly when this Grand Opening was occurring. Why didn't he simply ring an agency and get temporary catering staff to do the honours. Denise may not have minded just cooking the food, as she indicated to Kim tonight.
But wait ... Ian can't hire agency staff, because Ian has no money. He owns a cafe, which is filled to bursting daily, he owns a restaurant, he owns a chippie, and he has no money. How much, exactly, does he pay Carl weekly? We saw him empty the cash register at the cafe, after muttering to Carl that he needed that money to pay his staff.
Really, Ian? You pay your cafe staff cash-in-hand? Gee, I'd love to be your accountant and look at your books.
So Ian has all these businesses, and he's existing by the skin of his teeth because of Carl, to the point that he has to bully Jean into helping him. I know TPTB really really wanted us to laugh at Ian's inability to relieve Denise, to the point of desperation that he enlists a ten year-old to help Denise clean up.
I've said before that I wasn't keen on the Denise-Ian partnership, but that was because of the way in which she patronised him, talking about him in his presence in the third person, believing unreliable people's accusations of him and urging him to be lenient with someone who'd willfully committed criminal damage against his business, telling Ian that if he went to the police, he'd be a bad man.
But there's no denying Denise occupies a different position from that occupied by Jane. Jane gave up everything to live with Ian - she apparently gave up the marital home she shared with David and her own catering business to devote herself to Ian's needs and aspirations. But Denise had a life before Ian, and she'll have one afterward. This is a woman who's survived one abusive husband and another psychopathic one. She's nothing, if not strong, and returning from a hard day's graft with no remuneration of any sort to picture Ian sat on the couch playing a video game was a bridge too far for Denise.
She's finished. Or so she says.
But this wasn't a domestic romcom drama; this was the beginning of Ian's sinister involvement with Carl, which will play out in September.
They Should Have Known Better.
Nothing better than watching Kat and Bianca get their asses handed to them because of their massive mouths.
This Bianca is truly retarded. A fourteen year-old wouldn't even act this way when presented with a double-date, jealous that the friend of the date she'd made and known turned out to be fitter than her date, stamping her feet and demanding that she and Kat "trade dates," because Bianca got Kat the date so she should have first dibs on choosing the man.
Go figure. This is the stuff of childhood, and I'll tell you, the bearded guy wasn't even that fit. He looked like a gorilla. The only thing worse was the scene of Kat overtly flirting with the pair of them brought back memories of those gross scenes in the Vic last summer when we were regaled with the morons' chorus of "We Love You, Kat Moon".
Most men these days, including the IT geek, would be barfing with a spoon at the obvious and overt way in which Kat was spooning up the two blokes in question.
And how stupid was Bianca to mouth off about the situation when the two men were within earshot.
Line of the night:-
Bianca: 'Is name is Colin. What kinder fit man is named Colin?
Kat: Colin Farrell. Colin Firth.
Kudos for the gorilla-guy to upend their conversation by ticking them off for dissing his mate. No, I've changed my mind, gorilla-guy had the real last word:-
You two need to learn some respect.
Ass. meet Kat and Bianca.
The irony of this entire situation was that the flirting incident was done by Kat because of Alfie and Roxy's situation. She's half-heartedly trying to move on, but she wants to incite a jealous reaction from Alfie.
How long, O Lord?
Poopy-La-Putain.
If you ever needed proof that Poopy was a snide little bitch, tonight you got it. Poppy demands openness and honesty from Fatboy, so she should voice her concerns and her suspicions to him, about the message she read on his phone, especially as it worried her so much.
She's never not been so forward before, so what's bothering her now? The fear of rejection? From Fatboy?
So there's a competition at the new Salon - Beauty not the common-and-garden overt sexual innuendo Booty - with the employee with the most sales getting a bonus, the two obvious candidates (of course) being the honed and mahoganied Lola and Poopy-La-Putain. Lola's saving for a holiday; Poopy's saving for the deposit on a flat.
I must admit, I thought Poopy telling Lola that the discount was 35% was just Poopy being dumb, but Poopy's also sneaky, and she saw Lola was getting a fair share of clientele, she effected it so Lola would lose the salon some profit.
I actually felt sorry for Lola, who correctly told Sadie that Poopy misinformed her, but Poopy is not only a passive-aggressive bully, she's a liar as well. She's arrogant, she's ageist, she jumps to conclusions, she doesn't listen to people, and she manipulates. She was well out of order, planning Tamwar's and Alices dinner without first asking Dot's permission, as it was Dot's house and Dot's kitchen she was using. She never thinks, and I hope when she finds out Fatboy was innocent of everything of which she accuses him, that he dumps her and that she leaves the Square. There's only so much self-obsessed wittering I can take.
All the fanbois calling for her family to come live on the Square need to be taken out and slapped.
Dot and The Psychopath.
Stop defending Michael Moon. Stop it right now. Yes, he's playing mind games, and so is Janine,and I'm disappointed in her doing that; but I understand her motives far better than I understand his.
She was manipulated before by him, with his end view being to chip away so much at her self-esteem that he got control of her fortune and her life. This battle of wits isn't about Scarlett anymore, it's about control.
What Michael did to Dot, initially, was despicable. It ranks on the maneouvres he tried on Jean last summer, the difference being that Dot could go right to the source of Michael's accusations and prove him a liar. This is where Michael comes unstuck.
So determined was he to blacken Janine's name and put a stop to the purchase of the club, that he openly lied to Dot about her stepson's disrespect of Jim, his father and her husband. Did he really think Dot wouldn't ask Jack for his version of the story? Because it's obvious that Michael was making stuff up as he went along here. Ah, the stuff of psychopaths.
I'm glad Jack put Dot straight, and also that he told her that Jim would be proud that Jack was selling the boxing club and going into a family business with Max.
What's pissed Michael off now, and one of the best scenes I've seen with Scott Maslen, was when Jack told Michael to his face that his manipulations wouldn't work with him. This wasn't about business, this was about family.
Couple that with Dot telling Michael a few home truths.
You ain't gonna like what I'm gonna say ter ya, but I'm gonna say it anyway.
I'm not the biggest Dot fan, but I bloody love her when she's in this mode - upbraiding Michael for making this all about himself and forgetting Scarlett in the bargain.
Janine ain't so bad, being she's the mother of your child.
Another brutal home truth, and if only Dot and other people knew how badly Michael treated her last year, when she was hormonal and suffering from PND.
Also, I don't trust Danny as far as I can throw a stick, considering his reaction to Michael's presenting Janine with the "books" and a laptop with his business plan. I'd feel better if she had someone watching her back, someone as slippery and sneaky and dodgy a businessman as those two - her half-brother, David Wicks can't come home soon enough.
And here's a continuity question: Alice was swanning about on Tamwar's arm all day, Janine was gallivanting about after Michael with the boxing club's books, and MIchael was out and about as well.
Who was watching Scarlett?
General Observations:
I love how Carl, in such an episode, is almost a background character, emerging from the woodwork long enough to converse civilly with Krusty, touching Ian to remind him of his debt or to try to make amends with Max. The public offer of apology will be important in a month's time or so. Remember the fact that Max, in a crowded pub, refused to shake hands with Carl.
Jean. Go. Just go now. Go with Ollie. Go open a gardening shop someplace. This missing vegetable malarkey is all about the Big Mo guest appearance, complete with camouflage outfit. And pairing Jean in a scene with Dot just serves to show one important thing: Jean will never, in a million years, approach the icon that is Dot Branning, and I say that as someone who is not a fan of Dot's.
Watchable episode.
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