Friday, July 13, 2012

Friday the 13th ... The Walford Horror Picture Show

Starring Ben Mitchell, Walford's current resident murderer ... not starring anymore Stacey Slater, Walford's current unpunished murderer, commonly thought of as a saint. And featuring Kat Moon as Walford's resident Morticia Addams on heat.

Again, this was a pretty good episode, but only because there was a lot of emphasis on the Mitchells freaking out over Ben's humongous faux pas and the Masoods.

Ben is seriously freaky. I mean creepily freaky. But also brilliant, the way he's able to be such a facile liar, thinking on his feet about losing his spare hearing aid - the mark of a sociopath, many of whom are ueber intelligent. But one word of warning to Eastenders ... I wish they wouldn't tease out this Ben reveal, with almost either finding the instrument of death or the tea towel with Heather's blood encrusted on it, although the final frame (pun intended) of the "murder weapon" lying discarded on the floor of the charity shop was overtly significant.

How chilling was the way Ben described the picture frame as being what he "done Hevva wiv"? He has no feelings about Heather whatsoever, and the frame is a piece of evidence, which means loss of his freedom. He is just one cold, mean bastard, and he'll use whomever he has to in order to get what he wants, then he'll toss them under the nearest bus - Jay, Phil, even Amy and Jean - clock the look of sheer hatred Ben shot her way when Jean ordered the two of them from the Vic's flat. If Ben needed to kill Jay to stop him from going to the copshop with the frame, he would have done so. If Ben needed to kill Jean tonight in order to take that frame back, she'd have been toast at the bottom of the stairs.

I want this to end, end quickly and end satisfactorily - but once again, Eastenders presents us with a moment of shock, only to lull us into another false sense of security. Ben and Jay think Jean's given the frame to the rubbish men; Phil will burn the tea towel. All's safe again.

And when the frame is found, Jean will also remember them frantically rifling through the rubbish.

Kudos to AJ for revealing Masood's and Zainab's hypocrisy. Until he revealed to them that he knew they weren't married anymore, they weren't about to tell him. They - Zainab especially - were happy to go along with what they perceived to be his opinion of them - happily together for 29 years without a glitch, doling out marital advice to all and sundry, sitting in judgement of someone else's marriage which they(she) considereed to be less than her high standards.

I'll miss AJ. I hope he returns as a permanent character. If he were Kirkwood's swansong, I approve of this one. Maybe he saved the best for last. Shame, he couldn't have sacrificed Tamwar.

Question: if everyone is at the footballers' party, including Max, who's in a committed relationship, and Jean's tending bar at the Vic, who's watching Tommy and Shenice?

I don't think Shaggerman is Ray, simply because no one knows who the mystery shagger is going to be. I think the plan is to have the slut throw herself variously at each of the five suspects - or rather, at three (Max, Jack and Ray) - never thinking that, after all is said and done, none of this behaviour will make sense. Shaggerman wasn't there. Shaggerman is going to be Derek.

And there's Kat assuming the moral high ground again in sneering at Roxy. Bitch. I hope her fall is stupendous, ignominious, humiliating and final.

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