Sorry, but some people on Digital Spy are beginning to look like this:-
Listed below are things which would never be possible on Eastenders, and if they are, then the retconning has got way out of control, the writers are inept, and Lorraine Newman needs to be slapped and then sacked.
1. Lauren is not, REPEAT NOT, Derek's daughter.
Tanya was not raped by Derek. In fact, Tanya didn't even meet Derek until she married Max, and that was after Lauren was born. Lauren is the daughter of Max and Tanya. She was conceived whilst Max was still married to Rachel. There was no rape - do you think someone with as big a judgemental gob as Tanya would not have reported that, would not have had something to say about that? Granted, she wouldn't be above passing someone else's kid off as Max's, but in this instance, Lauren belongs to Max.
As I explained before, according to the latest retcon (as referenced by the characters in scenes on the show), Carol met Tanya when Max brought her, pregnant, to meet Jim and Reenie. Max's parents fell out with him for abandoning Rachel and Bradley and for bringing his pregnant, teenaged mistress into their presence. Carol turned her nose up at Tanya too. When Max married Tanya, in August 1994, only Jack and Derek showed up at their wedding, which is where Tanya, who had given birth to Lauren four months before, first met them.
According to the latest retcon, Derek would have been married then, with Joey a young child and Alice a baby at home. Allegedly, at the wedding, he had sex with a seventeen year-old Rainie Cross.
But according to the original Derek storyline, when Carol married Alan Jackson in 1995, something we saw on our screens, Derek was living at home with Jim and Reenie (and as big a racist as Jim used to be). At that time, Carol was 33 years old. During the wedding episodes, she had a big row with Derek (who had another head at that time), during which, she called him a loser because he was unmarried, thirty-two and living at home with his parents.
That doesn't mean that Derek couldn't have had two children with a woman living elsewhere, but we know now that Derek was actually married; and we know now that this version of Derek is 53 and the oldest of the Branning siblings, which means in 1995, he would have been 36 years old.
Back in 2008, there were rumours flying about that Lauren was Jack's daughter. She simply isn't. Lauren belongs to Max.
2. Sharon is not, REPEAT NOT Cora's daughter.
As previously explained, long-term viewers met Sharon's birth mother in the early 1990s. After Den died and Angie left, Sharon embarked upon looking for her birth parents. Her mother's name was Carol Stretton, and Sharon was born in 1969, when Stretton was 18. By the time Sharon found her, she had married and was now Carol Hanley, with two small sons and expecting a third child. She was blonde and had blue eyes like Sharon.
Cora's daughter was born in 1964, when Cora was 18 and unmarried. Sharon will be 43 in October 2012; Ava, Cora's daughter, would be/is 47. Tanya referenced that. Cora's daughter had brown eyes. Sharon's eyes are blue.
Based on Cora's reaction to Patrick's advances and her reminisences about her child etc, it's highly probable that Cora's daughter was/is biracial.
Lots of people now have jumped on the bandwagon about the possibility that Ava could turn out to be Ray's ex- wife/girlfriend (Sasha's mother), and if she's significantly older than Ray, then that would be possible. However, it could just be possible as well, that Cora is telling the truth and her baby is dead.
One thing for certain, however ... her long lost daughter is not Sharon.
I have to add, however, that I have no doubt that, had Bryan Kirkwood still been EP and had he had active charge of Sharon's return, she would have been snogging Max, sleeping with and pregnant by Jack, slapping Tanya around the Square whilst downing whiskey with the other and Cora's daughter as well.
3. Sharon has not been back in the UK for four years.
Someone's maths are wrong. In 2009, Sharon turned 40. Ian Beale ostentatiously made a trip to the US, sans Jane, to see Sharon and to celebrate her birthday. He returned in mid-October, clad in his biker jacket and a garish stars'n stripes teeshirt, bragging about the big house Sharon had.
Now, according to a storyline overseen by Kirwood and Kath Beedles, she's been in the UK for four years.
People will remember a retcon like this. Someone should have known better.
4. Joey is not Max's son.
Anyone with one iota of common sense can see that Joey is supposed to be the spit, in personality, of his old man. This is why the two can't stand each other. Derek dotes on Carol, to whom he refers as his "baby sister." Joey dotes on Alice. Both seek to control each woman. Derek's walloped Carol; I would imagine Joey's smacked Alice about. They are, however, the only women the two men respect. Joey is a liar and manipulator, just like his daddy. Derek had daddy issues, Joey has daddy issues.
Considering how incestuous the Brannings are as a family and how priapic they are in general, it's plausible that Max might have been doing Derek's missus at the same time he was doing Rachel (because Joey and Bradley are roughly the same age), but Derek would have sussed that.
5. Shirley will not, REPEAT NOT stay with Phil.
Shirley's destiny is away from Phil. Her time with Phil dragged her character down to such a level that she looked like this:-
Listed below are things which would never be possible on Eastenders, and if they are, then the retconning has got way out of control, the writers are inept, and Lorraine Newman needs to be slapped and then sacked.
1. Lauren is not, REPEAT NOT, Derek's daughter.
Tanya was not raped by Derek. In fact, Tanya didn't even meet Derek until she married Max, and that was after Lauren was born. Lauren is the daughter of Max and Tanya. She was conceived whilst Max was still married to Rachel. There was no rape - do you think someone with as big a judgemental gob as Tanya would not have reported that, would not have had something to say about that? Granted, she wouldn't be above passing someone else's kid off as Max's, but in this instance, Lauren belongs to Max.
As I explained before, according to the latest retcon (as referenced by the characters in scenes on the show), Carol met Tanya when Max brought her, pregnant, to meet Jim and Reenie. Max's parents fell out with him for abandoning Rachel and Bradley and for bringing his pregnant, teenaged mistress into their presence. Carol turned her nose up at Tanya too. When Max married Tanya, in August 1994, only Jack and Derek showed up at their wedding, which is where Tanya, who had given birth to Lauren four months before, first met them.
According to the latest retcon, Derek would have been married then, with Joey a young child and Alice a baby at home. Allegedly, at the wedding, he had sex with a seventeen year-old Rainie Cross.
But according to the original Derek storyline, when Carol married Alan Jackson in 1995, something we saw on our screens, Derek was living at home with Jim and Reenie (and as big a racist as Jim used to be). At that time, Carol was 33 years old. During the wedding episodes, she had a big row with Derek (who had another head at that time), during which, she called him a loser because he was unmarried, thirty-two and living at home with his parents.
That doesn't mean that Derek couldn't have had two children with a woman living elsewhere, but we know now that Derek was actually married; and we know now that this version of Derek is 53 and the oldest of the Branning siblings, which means in 1995, he would have been 36 years old.
Back in 2008, there were rumours flying about that Lauren was Jack's daughter. She simply isn't. Lauren belongs to Max.
2. Sharon is not, REPEAT NOT Cora's daughter.
As previously explained, long-term viewers met Sharon's birth mother in the early 1990s. After Den died and Angie left, Sharon embarked upon looking for her birth parents. Her mother's name was Carol Stretton, and Sharon was born in 1969, when Stretton was 18. By the time Sharon found her, she had married and was now Carol Hanley, with two small sons and expecting a third child. She was blonde and had blue eyes like Sharon.
Cora's daughter was born in 1964, when Cora was 18 and unmarried. Sharon will be 43 in October 2012; Ava, Cora's daughter, would be/is 47. Tanya referenced that. Cora's daughter had brown eyes. Sharon's eyes are blue.
Based on Cora's reaction to Patrick's advances and her reminisences about her child etc, it's highly probable that Cora's daughter was/is biracial.
Lots of people now have jumped on the bandwagon about the possibility that Ava could turn out to be Ray's ex- wife/girlfriend (Sasha's mother), and if she's significantly older than Ray, then that would be possible. However, it could just be possible as well, that Cora is telling the truth and her baby is dead.
One thing for certain, however ... her long lost daughter is not Sharon.
I have to add, however, that I have no doubt that, had Bryan Kirkwood still been EP and had he had active charge of Sharon's return, she would have been snogging Max, sleeping with and pregnant by Jack, slapping Tanya around the Square whilst downing whiskey with the other and Cora's daughter as well.
3. Sharon has not been back in the UK for four years.
Someone's maths are wrong. In 2009, Sharon turned 40. Ian Beale ostentatiously made a trip to the US, sans Jane, to see Sharon and to celebrate her birthday. He returned in mid-October, clad in his biker jacket and a garish stars'n stripes teeshirt, bragging about the big house Sharon had.
Now, according to a storyline overseen by Kirwood and Kath Beedles, she's been in the UK for four years.
People will remember a retcon like this. Someone should have known better.
4. Joey is not Max's son.
Anyone with one iota of common sense can see that Joey is supposed to be the spit, in personality, of his old man. This is why the two can't stand each other. Derek dotes on Carol, to whom he refers as his "baby sister." Joey dotes on Alice. Both seek to control each woman. Derek's walloped Carol; I would imagine Joey's smacked Alice about. They are, however, the only women the two men respect. Joey is a liar and manipulator, just like his daddy. Derek had daddy issues, Joey has daddy issues.
Considering how incestuous the Brannings are as a family and how priapic they are in general, it's plausible that Max might have been doing Derek's missus at the same time he was doing Rachel (because Joey and Bradley are roughly the same age), but Derek would have sussed that.
5. Shirley will not, REPEAT NOT stay with Phil.
Shirley's destiny is away from Phil. Her time with Phil dragged her character down to such a level that she looked like this:-
She has known since Phil's affair with Glenda that he doesn't love her, but still she lived in hope. Please, monalisa62003, stop going on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about how "complex" Phil's and Shirley's relationship was/is.
It's simply not.
Shirley gave Phil sex, and Phil gave Shirley a roof over her head and allowed her to strut about Walford fulfilling her bullying fantasies only because she was Phil Mitchell's latest squeeze. Phil never promised fidelity, and Shirley accepted that; but she lived in fear of and knew that Phil's real love was Sharon. Now, not only has he betrayed her ultimate trust by covering up the fact that his son killed her absolute and total best friend, Heather, but her nemesis, Sharon, has also arrived and taken up residence in her hometown.
Shirley cannot live with Phil, simply because she cannot trust Phil. She could deal with this trust issue, as long as she made herself believe that perhaps one day, Phil would really love her. She even tested him a couple of times by asking him to marry her. The only reason he agreed to at the end was because he genuinely believed that he had managed to cover up Heather's death sufficiently to enable Shirley to move on from that trauma. Anything for a peaceful life.
But now Shirley knows what Phil did and how he covered for Ben, how he's still expecting her to cover for Ben as well. The only reason during the next two weeks that Phil's sniffing around Shirley is self-preservation: Shirley knows he was part of Heather's cover-up, and if that much is found out, Phil's fat ass will be right back in prison and for a long time.
Shirley will not stay with Phil; and Phil will get together with Sharon.
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