Stick insects are normally attracted to wood. Many of them harbour in it as a natural habitat. Most feed off it. No surprises, then, that Walford's resident stick insect, AKA Lucy Lolligag Beale, charter member of the Walford Mouth-Breathers Association, is stuck like glue to the Square's newest piece of wood, Joey Branning AKA Rod-Knee (the other resident mouth-breather, by the way).
Lucy is a bitch incarnate, but a different sort of a bitch because not only is she a spoiled one, but also one who is decidedly stupid. Just how stupid is Lucy? I'll tell you ... she thought Ben's relationship with Ian was through the Beale side of the family. Stick Insect's paternal grandmother (not a Beale) is Ben's mother (which doesn't make him a Beale). Still, that's too much for Lucy's one brain-celled, nutrient-deprived pea-brain to fathom; besides, she allows Rod-Knee to think for her. He injects her nightly from below via his equally wooden third leg, the repository of what little grey matter he possesses.
Again, this proves her stupidity. Walford's newest priapic piece of wood doesn't love the Stick Insect. He is attracted, however, to the financial gains she brings with her to bed each night. She doesn't realise, although the viewers do (having been warned in advance), that Priapic Pinocchio is a manipulator, a shafter (literally), a bully, a violent thug and a liar - his nose may not grow but his middle third leg does in order to accommodate his lies. A cock is so much more persuasive.
He will shaft her, and then he will shaft her; and one morning, she will awaken to find herself homeless and businessless. Then maybe she will know what it's like to have a breakdown.
Letitia Dean is settling down in her performances now, doing what she does best. Lucy was younger when she left the last time, and I don't remember that much interaction between Sharon and any of the Beale children; but I found it significant that Sharon was looking at a picture of Cindy Beale, now resident in Weatherfield behind the bar of the Rovers Return and sounding decidedly Mancunian.
Listening to Lucy whine about how hard done-by she was and realising how little an 18 year-old stick insect can know about the world and people in general, maybe Sharon should have dispelled those illusions she holds about her sainted mother. As I recall, Cindy was instrumental in breaking up Sharon's first serious love affair. Maybe she should tell Lucy that and tell her how Saint Cindy deceived Ian into believing crazy Steven was his son. Instead, she held her tongue.
But we got some hints as to what Sharon's been up to since the birth of her son. She was pretty explicit, and it really was a higher end version of what happened to Bianca after the death of Nathan Dean - a succession of bars followed by drink-fueled sex, not for love, but for companionship. I can see Sharon the barfly - so maybe this "bad thing" that happened does have something to do inadvertant prostitution. Sharon was never a person for one-night stands, and this puts what's about to happen with Walford's other priapic walking penis, Jack the Peg (uncle to Rod-Knee) into perspective.
(Lucy Beale and Joey Branning Having Sex)
(Jack Branning)
Three of the programme's most underrated actors shone tonight - Linda Henry, Steve McFadden and Adam Woodyatt.
Linda Henry deserves to win all sorts of accolades and awards in the genre for the sheer ferocity and sincerity of her performance alone in this storyline, especially tonight. It's a shame that she won't. She'll lose out to Kat's tits or Yummy Mummy Tanya. And tonight Steve McFadden reminded me, yet again, of just how good an actor he is. Neither McFadden nor Woodyatt have ever won any sort of gong on this show, and that's shameful.
Shirley knows. Not only does she know that Ben killed Heather, but she now knows and can admit openly that Phil doesn't love her, that he's never loved her, that she was only ever a convenience and, since the murder of Heather, a life-saving necessity.
Shirley is a woman, and she sees what every woman sees. She saw what the viewers saw in Phil's face when Sharon appeared at the door on Monday: that Phil loves Sharon. That he's always loved Sharon. Sure, Shirl even knows about how Phil slept with Sharon on the eve of his engagement to Kathy; but does she know how Phil and Sharon were lovers when Sharon was married to Phil's brother? If she doesn't, maybe she should - in fact, maybe she should speak with Sharon, if only for Sharon to tell her how the Mitchells always, always close ranks against the world and against anyone whom they perceive to threaten their little family empire. Maybe Sharon should tell Shirley how Phil threw her under the bus, how he allowed Grant to believe that Sharon had seduced him whilst Grant was in prison and how they decided that women would come and go, but brothers are forever.
That might ring a bell for Shirl, because - in a different way - this is what's been done to her; and she realised that slowly tonight, when she fathomed that Phil had known about Ben killing Heather almost from the moment it happened and that Jay had known also; that the conspired to cover Ben's tracks and closed ranks in order to protect Ben.
The whole enormity of that farcically tragic evening spent eating curry, with Ben laughing and joking about Heather never passing up a free meal right down to the instant that Phil allowed Shirley to "discover" Heather's body ("What was I supposed ter do, Shirl? What was I supposed ter do?")
Er, how about what you originally thought to do - call the police - before Benny-Boy started whining and begging for protection, begging his old man to make it right.
The other thing Shirley realised tonight as well was something the viewers had always known about Phil:- that he would do absolutely anything and sacrifice absolutely anyone to protect Ben. It's debatable whether or not Phil would have allowed Shirley to call the police or even run for them. I don't think he'd have killed her; Phil Mitchell doesn't go that far. But he would, ultimately, have taken the blame for Ben, himself.
And now a desperate Phil goes into overdrive, wheedling and manipulating Shirley in a pathetic effort to stymie her from going to the authorities. Shirley is right: Heather deserves justice. Phil's pleading for Ben to rectify his "mistake" by being allowed to remain free and grow up a "changed man." Phil is blinded by love for his son - so blinded that he didn't see how astutely Ben manoeuvred him into a situation upstairs by claiming fear that Shirley would actually kill him. Phil doesn't know, but Shirley does. If she relents and buckles to Phil's demands, Ben would lord this over her for the rest of her days. He'd either drive her out or he'd kill her, himself, in order to silence her forever. Ben's killed once. He's tasted the power, the adrenalin rush that comes with taking a life. There is no good in Ben. No compassion. Only for himself and the fear of what he'll face if imprisoned.
And yet Phil is remorseless enough to use a reference to Shirley's shortcomings as a mother, holding the proverbial situation of Carly Wicks being involved in a murder to whet Shirley's maternal guilt, even to the point of reminding her that Ben is the closest thing to a son that she has.
Wrong, Phil. Shirley very much has a son, Dean, who committed a crime, pleaded guilty to it and went to prison for the deed, where he was beaten and, quite possibly, raped. And when he was released, he rejected Shirley. Maybe Shirley should have referenced that to Phil.
As for Phil's endless protestations of love to Shirley tonight - and this is a message to Digital Spy's and Twitter's resident Shirley fanatic, Monalisa62003 - lies, damned lies. And Shirley knew it.
Phil was desperate to protect his son, and Shirley stood in his way. He would do anything, say anything to "prove" his "love" for Shirley, just to protect Ben. What he's asking is unreasonable - he's asking that Shirley table her quest for justice regarding her best friend, whom she loved, who was really as much a surrogate child, to sacrifice her so Ben could live free. All the words of love issuing from Phil's mouth tonight were bleak and desperate manipulations, intended to convince Shirley of their veracity.
But Shirley is no fool. She knows that if she accedes, Phil is now "stuck" with Shirley - as much entrapped by Ben as she is. Any foul word, any adverse behavioural pattern might send Shirley running to the police. And to prove his point, Phil then denies Sharon, whom he'd promised could stay temporarily at his house. Once again, he throws her under the proverbial bus, and he does it, specifically, in order that Shirley could hear him, finally - in the aftermath of turfing Sharon out into the rain - when he convinced Shirley to speak to Ben once more, we find Ben has behaved in a way which totally defines Ben: he'd scarpered.
Not out of guilt or shame, but entirely in order to save himself. Because that's all that matters for Ben ... Ben.
Ben Mitchell out of the Woodwork
Brilliant episode, with everyone pitch perfect - and a first for Simon Ashdown, in that he proved he could write an episode without a single Branning character.
Lucy is a bitch incarnate, but a different sort of a bitch because not only is she a spoiled one, but also one who is decidedly stupid. Just how stupid is Lucy? I'll tell you ... she thought Ben's relationship with Ian was through the Beale side of the family. Stick Insect's paternal grandmother (not a Beale) is Ben's mother (which doesn't make him a Beale). Still, that's too much for Lucy's one brain-celled, nutrient-deprived pea-brain to fathom; besides, she allows Rod-Knee to think for her. He injects her nightly from below via his equally wooden third leg, the repository of what little grey matter he possesses.
Again, this proves her stupidity. Walford's newest priapic piece of wood doesn't love the Stick Insect. He is attracted, however, to the financial gains she brings with her to bed each night. She doesn't realise, although the viewers do (having been warned in advance), that Priapic Pinocchio is a manipulator, a shafter (literally), a bully, a violent thug and a liar - his nose may not grow but his middle third leg does in order to accommodate his lies. A cock is so much more persuasive.
He will shaft her, and then he will shaft her; and one morning, she will awaken to find herself homeless and businessless. Then maybe she will know what it's like to have a breakdown.
Letitia Dean is settling down in her performances now, doing what she does best. Lucy was younger when she left the last time, and I don't remember that much interaction between Sharon and any of the Beale children; but I found it significant that Sharon was looking at a picture of Cindy Beale, now resident in Weatherfield behind the bar of the Rovers Return and sounding decidedly Mancunian.
Listening to Lucy whine about how hard done-by she was and realising how little an 18 year-old stick insect can know about the world and people in general, maybe Sharon should have dispelled those illusions she holds about her sainted mother. As I recall, Cindy was instrumental in breaking up Sharon's first serious love affair. Maybe she should tell Lucy that and tell her how Saint Cindy deceived Ian into believing crazy Steven was his son. Instead, she held her tongue.
But we got some hints as to what Sharon's been up to since the birth of her son. She was pretty explicit, and it really was a higher end version of what happened to Bianca after the death of Nathan Dean - a succession of bars followed by drink-fueled sex, not for love, but for companionship. I can see Sharon the barfly - so maybe this "bad thing" that happened does have something to do inadvertant prostitution. Sharon was never a person for one-night stands, and this puts what's about to happen with Walford's other priapic walking penis, Jack the Peg (uncle to Rod-Knee) into perspective.
Three of the programme's most underrated actors shone tonight - Linda Henry, Steve McFadden and Adam Woodyatt.
Linda Henry deserves to win all sorts of accolades and awards in the genre for the sheer ferocity and sincerity of her performance alone in this storyline, especially tonight. It's a shame that she won't. She'll lose out to Kat's tits or Yummy Mummy Tanya. And tonight Steve McFadden reminded me, yet again, of just how good an actor he is. Neither McFadden nor Woodyatt have ever won any sort of gong on this show, and that's shameful.
Shirley knows. Not only does she know that Ben killed Heather, but she now knows and can admit openly that Phil doesn't love her, that he's never loved her, that she was only ever a convenience and, since the murder of Heather, a life-saving necessity.
Shirley is a woman, and she sees what every woman sees. She saw what the viewers saw in Phil's face when Sharon appeared at the door on Monday: that Phil loves Sharon. That he's always loved Sharon. Sure, Shirl even knows about how Phil slept with Sharon on the eve of his engagement to Kathy; but does she know how Phil and Sharon were lovers when Sharon was married to Phil's brother? If she doesn't, maybe she should - in fact, maybe she should speak with Sharon, if only for Sharon to tell her how the Mitchells always, always close ranks against the world and against anyone whom they perceive to threaten their little family empire. Maybe Sharon should tell Shirley how Phil threw her under the bus, how he allowed Grant to believe that Sharon had seduced him whilst Grant was in prison and how they decided that women would come and go, but brothers are forever.
That might ring a bell for Shirl, because - in a different way - this is what's been done to her; and she realised that slowly tonight, when she fathomed that Phil had known about Ben killing Heather almost from the moment it happened and that Jay had known also; that the conspired to cover Ben's tracks and closed ranks in order to protect Ben.
The whole enormity of that farcically tragic evening spent eating curry, with Ben laughing and joking about Heather never passing up a free meal right down to the instant that Phil allowed Shirley to "discover" Heather's body ("What was I supposed ter do, Shirl? What was I supposed ter do?")
Er, how about what you originally thought to do - call the police - before Benny-Boy started whining and begging for protection, begging his old man to make it right.
The other thing Shirley realised tonight as well was something the viewers had always known about Phil:- that he would do absolutely anything and sacrifice absolutely anyone to protect Ben. It's debatable whether or not Phil would have allowed Shirley to call the police or even run for them. I don't think he'd have killed her; Phil Mitchell doesn't go that far. But he would, ultimately, have taken the blame for Ben, himself.
And now a desperate Phil goes into overdrive, wheedling and manipulating Shirley in a pathetic effort to stymie her from going to the authorities. Shirley is right: Heather deserves justice. Phil's pleading for Ben to rectify his "mistake" by being allowed to remain free and grow up a "changed man." Phil is blinded by love for his son - so blinded that he didn't see how astutely Ben manoeuvred him into a situation upstairs by claiming fear that Shirley would actually kill him. Phil doesn't know, but Shirley does. If she relents and buckles to Phil's demands, Ben would lord this over her for the rest of her days. He'd either drive her out or he'd kill her, himself, in order to silence her forever. Ben's killed once. He's tasted the power, the adrenalin rush that comes with taking a life. There is no good in Ben. No compassion. Only for himself and the fear of what he'll face if imprisoned.
And yet Phil is remorseless enough to use a reference to Shirley's shortcomings as a mother, holding the proverbial situation of Carly Wicks being involved in a murder to whet Shirley's maternal guilt, even to the point of reminding her that Ben is the closest thing to a son that she has.
Wrong, Phil. Shirley very much has a son, Dean, who committed a crime, pleaded guilty to it and went to prison for the deed, where he was beaten and, quite possibly, raped. And when he was released, he rejected Shirley. Maybe Shirley should have referenced that to Phil.
As for Phil's endless protestations of love to Shirley tonight - and this is a message to Digital Spy's and Twitter's resident Shirley fanatic, Monalisa62003 - lies, damned lies. And Shirley knew it.
Phil was desperate to protect his son, and Shirley stood in his way. He would do anything, say anything to "prove" his "love" for Shirley, just to protect Ben. What he's asking is unreasonable - he's asking that Shirley table her quest for justice regarding her best friend, whom she loved, who was really as much a surrogate child, to sacrifice her so Ben could live free. All the words of love issuing from Phil's mouth tonight were bleak and desperate manipulations, intended to convince Shirley of their veracity.
But Shirley is no fool. She knows that if she accedes, Phil is now "stuck" with Shirley - as much entrapped by Ben as she is. Any foul word, any adverse behavioural pattern might send Shirley running to the police. And to prove his point, Phil then denies Sharon, whom he'd promised could stay temporarily at his house. Once again, he throws her under the proverbial bus, and he does it, specifically, in order that Shirley could hear him, finally - in the aftermath of turfing Sharon out into the rain - when he convinced Shirley to speak to Ben once more, we find Ben has behaved in a way which totally defines Ben: he'd scarpered.
Not out of guilt or shame, but entirely in order to save himself. Because that's all that matters for Ben ... Ben.
Brilliant episode, with everyone pitch perfect - and a first for Simon Ashdown, in that he proved he could write an episode without a single Branning character.
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