Shack Crapiola

Scott Maslen is a nice enough guy and seems very pleasant in interviews; but he's not the best actor. In fact, his acting style is reminiscent of the following:-

On the other hand, there's the growing problem of the Branning family, itself. Literally growing.

One of the things I dreaded most about Sharon's return would be the inevitable linking of her with the Brannings. Let's face it, everyone on the Square is inextricably linked with the Brannings or one of their satellites in some way. And with the introduction of Cora's long-lost daughter, they're about to become multi-racial. How long before an American or a French or even a Polish cousin is brought into the fray?

Jack Branning was brought into the show for two purposes - purposes which no longer exist:-

• To emphasise the sibling rivalry dynamic between him and Max and their relationship with Jim, who promoted the rivalry.
• To have sex with Ronnie.

In the first instance, although the rivalry existed from the getgo, Jim's part in all of that was never fully examined, as John Bardon suffered his stroke shortly after Scott Maslen started filming. Besides, their differences were inexplicably resolved over a bag of chips. In the second instance, Jack not only had sex with Ronnie, he had sex with and impregnated her sister and her cousin. He's also had sex with Tanya and her sister. Jack's really a walking penis.

He's also become the resident sexy mature male in the show, especially now he's donned a Don Draper special haircut.

But Ronnie's long gone, and there are no women around Jack's age who aren't related to him with whom he can couple - and if there are (like Denise), they have too much taste. Before she opened her big gob and got suspended went on her break, it was rumoured that TPTB (i.e. Birkwood) were planning a shagfest for Jack and Katshit (AKA Jessie Wallace). Just as well it didn't happen. The pithy excuse of then bonding over a child Jack thought was his son and her mooning (pun intended) after a child she considered dead was too sensationalist for words.

Besides, Jack likes his white trash scrubbed up (like Tanya).

Jack's hanging around with nothing to do but shag nameless women who pass through the burg and play football, and blonde, ex-Mitchell Sharon is returning. The shallow side of TPTB make the obvious pairing. Sharon is pretty, has a Mitchell connection and is available. She is also a Walford icon and he walking symbol of original EastEnders. Of course, the Branning proponent amongst the production staff is salivating at the prospect of real Walford royalty copulating with a member of the family of pretenders who are spreading through the Square like a bad rash. 

Shack would validate the Brannings. Shack would bring them on par with the Mitchells.

But wait ...

Jack is not Grant. Jack is not even Dennis, and let me tell you, Dennis was not the love of Sharon's life. Dennis was a plot device, conjured up on a moment's notice when Steve McFadden decided to take a year-long sabbatical.

Dennis wasn't even Sharon's type. He was the first in a string of what's become Walford's traditional pretty boys. The difference in Dennis and the current bunch is that Dennis was played by a passable actor (who laughed at the character off-screen). Dennis was younger than Sharon and weaker in character. 

Believe me, it showed.

Consider what would have been had McFadden stayed that year: Sharon forced to choose between her lover, Phil Mitchell, and dear old dad, Zombie Den. Both men playing mind games with each other. You wouldn't have seen Den Watts make Phil Mitchell cry like this:-

For whatever reason.

Dennis was weak and easily manipulated - by Jack Dalton, by Andy Hunter and by Phil. Sharon knew that and didn't trust him. So the perfect Eastenders' love story was lacking in trust. Had the union survived, it would have been squelched - child or no child - by Sharon's constant need to protect and look after her husband as well as her child. I always likened Jane Beale's emotions toward Ian as maternal, and I recognised this with Sharon toward Dennis as well.

Sharon thrived on a relationship of equality. This is what she had with the Mitchells, especially with Phil Mitchell. The chemistry is abundant between their characters, even now, on the screen.

That is lacking with Jack.

In addition to stamping a seal of approval on the Brannings as the first family of Walford (something that would be a definite nail in the coffin of EastEnders), the only other purpose a Shack relationship serves would be the embodiment of a shallow ideal that only a pretty woman can couple with a pretty man.

An interesting initiative for EastEnders would be an exploration of Jack's bent copper days, when his past comes back to haunt him. Instead, he's got to reprise his role as a wooden-topped Dr Love. At the expense of Sharon.

Worthy of noting that the only Branning with any depth of character and who's as watchable and as nuanced as Phil Mitchell is Max Branning - arguably the least physically attractive of the bunch (bar Derek). 

Update:-  Oh, and by the way, matthieus of Walford Web creche, Jack is not "now with Sharon." Man up ... a one night stand and a kiss does not establish a relationship. If you recall, Roxy slept with Jase Dyer once and kissed him afterward, and they were never a couple. The same for Carly Wicks and Jake Moon.

People who are either too young or too shallow to consider that someone like Sharon could even consider having a relationship with someone like Phil or Grant Mitchell really need to learn that charisma and attraction ofttimes runs more than skin deep.

Essence of Shack: She slept with him once - and that scene was difficult for me to comprehend because it was so much outside the character of Sharon as to be almost alien, but I'll buy her suffering and desire for a bit of comfort sex. Then he bet her a kiss that she would stay. She lost the bet and complied. It doesn't mean they are going to be the next thing to light up Walford. You know what happens when you set fire to a piece of wood.

Update II:  And Will Slater-Mitchell, Sharon didn't stay in Walford after Sharongate and face everybody down. She left shortly afterward. On Christmas Day, as I recall, after Grant terrorised her into signing the divorce papers by literally getting in her face and marching around the kitchen table breaking plate after plate. She was shunned by all in Walford except Michelle and Pat. Perhaps you're confused. Pat, after Patgate in 2000, stayed in Walford and faced the peasants down.