I'm doing this for monalisa62003, really I am, because the situation regarding Phil and Shirley's relationship is getting way beyond a joke now on Digital Spy Soaps' Forum, and this needs clarification right now.
Fact: Until last week, Shirley loved Phil. She loved him desperately.
Fact: Phil has never loved Shirley. He likes her, and he's fond of her; but he's never loved her.
Now, let's take it from there.
Even though she abandoned him and their three children, Shirley loved Kevin. She was with him and held him as he died, and it burst her heart when his last words were about Denise. Shirley actually knew, as well, that Phil Mitchell knew about the cut-and-shut cars - in fact, had provided them - that Kevin was selling and which caused his death.
Phil was coming off a batshit relationship with Stella when he and Shirley first connected as friends.
The reason they connected at all was due to the fact that, for some reason, Ben bonded with Shirley and saw her as a maternal figure, which was totally a joke, because this was the woman who walked out on motherhood.
Actually, the Digital Spy contributor big dan nicely, but bluntly offers the best explanation of the Phil-Shirley dynamic and offers it directly to monalisa32006:-
The Bold Bits: This is beautifully explained. Phil and Shirley got together as a couple for convenience's sake on Phil's part. On Shirley's part, she accepted that this was, indeed, the only way she would ever get to live with Phil.
Shirley had bonded with Ben - and even she didn't believe that; because of that, Phil was kind to her. He does, after all, possess that capacity to be kind and feel compassion. Shirl fell hopelessly in love with him, yet she knew that she wasn't the type of woman to whom he was naturally attracted. During 2009 - and especially during the time around which Archie Mitchell was killed, Phil was with Shirley off and on. However, the only way he would ever sleep with her during this period would be if he were drunk.
Shirley knew that. She also knew that Phil was an alcoholic, but because she wanted him, she kept him drunk and drank with him. She even provided an alibi for him on the night Archie was killed. After that, when Phil had sobered up, the only other way she could contrive to live with Phil was by lying to Social Services that they were a couple in order that Phil could get temporary custody of Louise.
When Shirl surfaced again, after Phil's miraculous cure of his crack cocaine addiction, they set up housekeeping out of convenience, "adopting" Jay along the way and preparing for Ben's return from juvy. With the main Mitchells (Peggy and Ronnie) moving on, Phil set about creating an "aura" of Mitchelldom. As big dan states, this version of playing house was Phil's effort at providing a stable home atmosphere for Ben and it assuaged the guilt Shirley felt for abandoning her children. She gave Phil sex, which he took (friends with benefits) and he gave her a roof over her head, and a position of respect in the Walford community as Phil Mitchell's partner.
Phil was grateful. Shirley was in love.
And her insecurities regarding the relationship were enhanced, when he admitted to her, firstly, that he would never have become addicted to anything when and if Sharon were in his life; and, secondly, when he couldn't promise fidelity after Shirley caught him playing away with Glenda.
She knew then that she was only living on his good humour.
Is he fond of her? Yes, but he doesn't love her. He feels badly because of Heather's death, and he is appalled that his son killed her. Phil Mitchell, after all, is many things, but he isn't a murderer. However, he also feels guilty about Ben as well - that he wasn't there for him in his formative years, that he didn't see the woman he thought was a maternal figure for him was actually abusing him, and that he, himself, feels inadequate as a father who finds it hard to come to terms with Ben's sexuality and his personality.
Is he conflicted in the aftermath around Heather's death? Yes, of course; but Phil reckons that, even though it's wrong, he owes Ben his protection, which is why he put his son before Shirley.
Now, however, he is desperate to keep Shirley onside. He knows that she knows he knew about Heather's death from the getgo, and not only could Ben be put away for a long time, Shirley has it in her power to send him down also.
You can just smell the desperation on Phil as the world, as he knew it, implodes. Phil Mitchell is floundering now, and he needs rescuing. To use an old euphemisn, he's no a "lost soul." As is Ian with everything that's fallen around him. And as is Sharon, whose remit upon this return is that she's also a "lost soul" in her inability to come to terms with Dennis's death and her behaviour during the past six years.
Maybe, just maybe, Eastenders is about to weave an intricate web, bringing these three established characters, now at their moral low points, together to rise again. The trio go back more than twenty years. Maybe they - and not the sleazy, one-dimensional, jumped-up poor white Brannings and their satellites - are about to form the core of the new Eastenders.
Fact: Until last week, Shirley loved Phil. She loved him desperately.
Fact: Phil has never loved Shirley. He likes her, and he's fond of her; but he's never loved her.
Now, let's take it from there.
Even though she abandoned him and their three children, Shirley loved Kevin. She was with him and held him as he died, and it burst her heart when his last words were about Denise. Shirley actually knew, as well, that Phil Mitchell knew about the cut-and-shut cars - in fact, had provided them - that Kevin was selling and which caused his death.
Phil was coming off a batshit relationship with Stella when he and Shirley first connected as friends.
The reason they connected at all was due to the fact that, for some reason, Ben bonded with Shirley and saw her as a maternal figure, which was totally a joke, because this was the woman who walked out on motherhood.
Actually, the Digital Spy contributor big dan nicely, but bluntly offers the best explanation of the Phil-Shirley dynamic and offers it directly to monalisa32006:-
I understand that you have invested heavily in this coupling, and how much of a disappointment it must be that it's coming to an end; and that it might not be ending in the way you want it. I once also was really rooting for the pair to be together, but in time it seemed to me that they were never going to be a loving couple with a bright future.
Their domestic set-up was one based on convenience, and the chance for both of them to essentially put right past wrongs. For Phil to give Ben a 'stable' family unit, and for Shirley to atone for the mistakes she made with her own children (although of course there was genuine love for Phil on her part).
Phil, however, was never able to truly love Shirley in the way you should love your partner. I think he will grow to feel genuinely sorry for the way he has treated her and realise he needs to just let her go; imo I find that turning point for Phil (and Shirley if she FINALLY sees that she should not be with him) very interesting.
This, by the way, is coming from someone who thought that they ought to have been written as long-term couple as they imo were well-matched; unfortunately the powers that be seemed to think differently. To go against everything that has been clear for a long time wouldn't be some great complex twist, I think it would be just ridiculous and hard to believe.
The Bold Bits: This is beautifully explained. Phil and Shirley got together as a couple for convenience's sake on Phil's part. On Shirley's part, she accepted that this was, indeed, the only way she would ever get to live with Phil.
Shirley had bonded with Ben - and even she didn't believe that; because of that, Phil was kind to her. He does, after all, possess that capacity to be kind and feel compassion. Shirl fell hopelessly in love with him, yet she knew that she wasn't the type of woman to whom he was naturally attracted. During 2009 - and especially during the time around which Archie Mitchell was killed, Phil was with Shirley off and on. However, the only way he would ever sleep with her during this period would be if he were drunk.
Shirley knew that. She also knew that Phil was an alcoholic, but because she wanted him, she kept him drunk and drank with him. She even provided an alibi for him on the night Archie was killed. After that, when Phil had sobered up, the only other way she could contrive to live with Phil was by lying to Social Services that they were a couple in order that Phil could get temporary custody of Louise.
When Shirl surfaced again, after Phil's miraculous cure of his crack cocaine addiction, they set up housekeeping out of convenience, "adopting" Jay along the way and preparing for Ben's return from juvy. With the main Mitchells (Peggy and Ronnie) moving on, Phil set about creating an "aura" of Mitchelldom. As big dan states, this version of playing house was Phil's effort at providing a stable home atmosphere for Ben and it assuaged the guilt Shirley felt for abandoning her children. She gave Phil sex, which he took (friends with benefits) and he gave her a roof over her head, and a position of respect in the Walford community as Phil Mitchell's partner.
Phil was grateful. Shirley was in love.
And her insecurities regarding the relationship were enhanced, when he admitted to her, firstly, that he would never have become addicted to anything when and if Sharon were in his life; and, secondly, when he couldn't promise fidelity after Shirley caught him playing away with Glenda.
She knew then that she was only living on his good humour.
Is he fond of her? Yes, but he doesn't love her. He feels badly because of Heather's death, and he is appalled that his son killed her. Phil Mitchell, after all, is many things, but he isn't a murderer. However, he also feels guilty about Ben as well - that he wasn't there for him in his formative years, that he didn't see the woman he thought was a maternal figure for him was actually abusing him, and that he, himself, feels inadequate as a father who finds it hard to come to terms with Ben's sexuality and his personality.
Is he conflicted in the aftermath around Heather's death? Yes, of course; but Phil reckons that, even though it's wrong, he owes Ben his protection, which is why he put his son before Shirley.
Now, however, he is desperate to keep Shirley onside. He knows that she knows he knew about Heather's death from the getgo, and not only could Ben be put away for a long time, Shirley has it in her power to send him down also.
You can just smell the desperation on Phil as the world, as he knew it, implodes. Phil Mitchell is floundering now, and he needs rescuing. To use an old euphemisn, he's no a "lost soul." As is Ian with everything that's fallen around him. And as is Sharon, whose remit upon this return is that she's also a "lost soul" in her inability to come to terms with Dennis's death and her behaviour during the past six years.
Maybe, just maybe, Eastenders is about to weave an intricate web, bringing these three established characters, now at their moral low points, together to rise again. The trio go back more than twenty years. Maybe they - and not the sleazy, one-dimensional, jumped-up poor white Brannings and their satellites - are about to form the core of the new Eastenders.
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