Walford Web's Case of Early Onset Menopause

I enjoy the fact that John Swallow's kindergarten is supposedly off-limits to plebs such as I. However, I somehow seem to be easily able to hack back into the thing, just to read what's going on in Hissyfit Haven or Bully Burg, depending on what day of the week it is.

Well, it seems as if the resident matron of Walford Web, the Nurse Ratchit figure, the League of Gentlement-type schoolmarmish figure there who's always quick with a witty one-liner chocked to the brim with double entendre, but who nurtures a secret passion for the period when men were men and women stayed at home; and those who didn't wore pointy bras and made themselves available to men in the office. I'm speaking of the woman whose avatar drools a certain type of liquid at the mention of Don Draper.

Actually, the way she struts the stage at the Walford Kindergarten, reminds me of the schoolteacher figure in this classic cartoon. In fact, the whole damned cartoon reminds me of Walford Kindergarten.

Watch and note the resemblance to a particular know-it-all missus:-

Currently, said madam is the defender of that pretty pair Lucy Beale and Joey Branning, pictured below, in flagrante delicto:-

                                 Lucy Beale and Joey Branning in a Compromising Position

Apparently, this venerable matron seems to think Lollygag Lucy, the skinniest girl in Walford, has the right to behave the way she does, demanding that her father sign over all business titles and titles to his house to her, while she rides Woodenhead's wooden head nightly, whilst he nurtures her daddy issues. Apparently, this venerable matron, who has to be seen to be the wisdom of Walford Web doesn't understand mental health issues and reckons this selfish, self-obsessed and stupid little bitch is in the right. Remember, this is a girl who didn't even realise that Ben Mitchell wasn't part of the Beale family by blood.

This is a woman who takes it upon herself to moderate (when she isn't a moderator) anyone on the forum who criticises the steroid-enhanced and talentless David Wicks. If this madam is reserving Jon Hamm for her more mature fantasies, perhaps Wicks fulfills her toyboy dreams. Perhaps I should recommend Fifty Shades of Gray for her reading (and otherwise) pleasures? This is the woman who is really getting into some pretty obsessive bullying on that forum, but who whines and cries "intimidation" when confronted with any poster who has a modicum or intelligence or articulace. If she really were a schoolmarm, she'd be deemed abusive in this day and age.

As she purportedly has a daughter and is self-employed, herself, I suppose she would be all right if, should she suffer a moment of madness brought on by her obvious early onset menopause, with her own child summarily taking over her business and denying her access to her own house, unless she sign over any and all ownership to the child.

Of course she would. Because she's too cool for school, isn't she? Not.

Just another bullyboy which John Swallow seems to tolerate because she's paid her money for nothing and she's determined to get her KICKS for free.

This one's for you ... oooh Matron!

Suck it up.